2009 reading list

the entire bible
knowing god - ji packer
let the nations be glad! - john piper
the knowledge of the holy - aw tozer
the pursuit of god - aw tozer
into the wild - jon krakauer
desiring god - john piper
living the cross centered life - cj mahaney
humility - cj mahaney
out of the silent planet, perelandra, that hideous strength - cs lewis
mere christianity - cs lewis
miracles - cs lewis
critique of pure reason - immanuel kant
evangelism in the early church - michael green
the religious affections - jonathan edwards
vintage jesus - mark driscoll
death by love - mark driscoll
ender in exile - orson scott card
first meetings - orson scott card
the chronicles of narnia series - cs lewis
wizard's first rule - terry goodkind
the reason for god - tim keller
restoring integrity in baptist churches - white, duesing, yarnell
money, possessions, and eternity - randy alcorn
rich christians in an age of hunger
thy kingdom come - pentecost
three views on the millennium and beyond - gundry/bock
three views on the rapture - gundry/archer
sense and sensibility - jane austen
the picture of dorian grey - oscar wilde
the count of monte cristo - alexandre dumas
the lord of the rings series - jrr tolkien

2008 lists

top 2008 movies

the dark night
iron man
wall-e
twilight
the duchess

honorable mentions
wanted
horton hears a who
jumper
definitely, maybe
get smart
the chronicles of narnia: prince caspian

movies i really want to see still
expelled: no intelligence allowed
slumdog millionaire
Australia
bolt
frost/nixon
the tale of despereaux
the curious case of benjamin button

sad that they weren't as awesome as they could have been 2008 movies
quantum of solace
transporter 3
21
drillbit taylor
righteous kill
made of honor (actually, this movie was just plain awful)

top books i read in 2008
twilight series (besides new moon; ick) - stephanie meyer
eragon series - christopher paolini
on liberty - john stuart mill
tales of beedle the bard - jk rowling
screwtape letters - cs lewis
sex is not the problem (lust is) - joshua harris
the gun seller - hugh laurie

favorite restaurants/treat places in 2008
lilly's pizza, raleigh, nc [sit-down]
shish kabob, wake forest, nc [quick]
denise's homemade ice cream, clintonville, oh [dessert]
starbucks [drink - salty caramel hot chocolate]
wake forest coffee company, wake forest, nc [dessert - blondies]

some good music

merry christmas! i wanted to share with everyone my current favorite christmas song, "born in bethlehem" by third day.

my other favorite songs at the moment are "how deep the father's love," "revelation song," (admittedly i always giggle at the "clothed in rainbows of living color" part - blame daniel! haha) and "in christ alone," a perennial favorite.

and, christmas is awesome. i had a great time celebrating jesus' birthday and thinking on how good God is to us who deserve nothing but the worst.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

if you are reading this from a reader, you may not be able to see the links in some cases (like google reader on the igoogle homepage... haha, happens to me all the time).

soon i will go to cincinatti to spend time with some of my loved friends there. then i will return to wake forest where it will be much lonlier than usual with one of our usual missing, who will be assissting relatives in hong kong. pray for her and for the situation please.

most recent cooking adventures

roasted vegetables

pasta with chicken cubes, peas, oven-baked tomatoes, roasted garlic, olive oil (garlic & tomato), and feta cheese

my first ever attempt at fried chicken

Soon I will be attempting a new brownie recipe for some people that don't like the other desserts I've been making lately (mostly stuff with berries).

it's been a long time

I haven't posted in a long time. I withdrew from classes and just quit my job so I lead quite the leisurely life... which is driving me insane. Anyhow, I do appreciate the many opportunities I've had to fellowship with all my friends here. Just this morning I had a friend over for a yummy breakfast and another friend came over and we had fun eating carrots and chatting. I made some carrot cake cupcakes for a dinner I'm going to tonight and then I ... made a copycat of the Starbucks Salty Caramel Hot Chocolate!!


I really don't like the signature hot chocolate blend (it's... liquid chocolate; quite strong) so I don't make any fancy hot chocolate, but I add caramel syrup, put whipped cream on top (joey whipped some up for me), with some caramel, fine sea salt... and just a sprinkle of cinnamon, to be adventurous.

Lately I've also made delicious cranberry-lemon scones (fresh cranberries of course), and later today or tomorrow I'll be making a crustless cranberry-blueberry pie. And next week I'll try making a cranberry sauce. Mmm... cranberries = delicious.

Next semester I will probably take classes. I don't want to. I do want to read books and learn but I don't want to sit in three-hour long classes or write a bunch of papers. I wish I could find a job. Oh well. I am playing with the idea of returning to college for a BS, in nursing... but who knows. I entertain many ideas..

I read all of the "Twilight" books over break, after I saw the movie. I really enjoyed the first, part of the third, and most of the fourth, however, her writing is sloppy, the plot could have been expanded so much, and I got sick of the werewolves. They annoyed me.

i want this

psalm 119:33-40

He

33 Teach me your decrees, O Lord;
I will keep them to the end.
34 Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions;
I will put them into practice with all my heart.
35 Make me walk along the path of your commands,
for that is where my happiness is found.
36 Give me an eagerness for your laws
rather than a love for money!
37 Turn my eyes from worthless things,
and give me life through your word.
38 Reassure me of your promise,
made to those who fear you.
39 Help me abandon my shameful ways;
for your regulations are good.
40 I long to obey your commandments!
Renew my life with your goodness.

a teachable (33), humble (34, and so on), submissive, eager, repentant, trusting, changed, new heart/spirit.

This is what I want.

currently reading: brian mclaren's "finding faith: a search for what makes sense". do not recommend it.

simplest one dish meal ever

this is what i used, but you can mix it up and add whatever you have, especially some spices would be good... i just dont have any. more vegetables would be good too.

kidney beans (i bought a bag of them dried and soaked and cooked them over two days, then froze them in serving sizes more appropriate for my needs. works better than a can. and much less expensive).

canned tomatoes (i used canned whole tomatoes cause i got them really cheap, but i like the diced ones too. mostly i just like them to be no salt added).

red potatoes

onion

garlic

brown rice

i cooked the brown rice in juice drained from the tomatoes. it was a bit salty - these tomatoes already had salt in them but i forgot and added some more. just eating the rice by itself was way too salty, but when it's done, it is tasty. i also threw some garlic in there when the rice was cooking.

in a frying pan i put in chopped onion, kidney beans, and tomatoes. after that was hot and it was almost ready to serve i put in the rice. then i put in the red potatoes, which i cut up into small bite-sized pieces and cooked in the oven at 350 for about 25-30 minutes. i salted them a bit and drizzled a little olive oil over them.

then i mixed it all together!!

this is good plain, or if you are feeling fancy add some shredded cheese, or add some more vegetables. i tend to make one dish and eat it all week, so it helps to have a bit of variety. (last week was sweet and sour chicken, this week is rice&beans. the sweet and sour chicken i was eating all last week was not the chinese restaurant version i posted pictures of, but rather one i made at home with vegetables and pineapple [more than one piece per item, haha...], and not deep fried chicken) I'm thawing some more beans to add in because I really like kidney beans and right now the other stuff:rice ratio is about 50/50 and I like more stuff than rice.

Mmmm it would be so good with some black beans.

Or if you aren't vegetarian, some chicken or something.

i have class / a job interview!!

My friend Nicole and I were puttering around World Market (I want everything there.... frealz) and I got this drink (and Pomegranate, which is way better. Raspberry is a bit too sweet). I drink it on the rocks with lime because I am awesome. We were talking about having a Southeastern-appropriate party with fruity sodas and spinach-artichoke flavored chips (which I also got) instead of wine and cheese... haha.

I also got a job interview! I have applied for about 14~15 jobs. Two have contacted me because they filled the positions. One I just had a phone interview with. It's with "It's Just Lunch," the dating company... which kind of cracks me up, but might be fun. It's a "coordinator" job and I would phone the men and women and tell them about their date, match people, make reservations, remind people of their dates, get testimonials, get people with inactive accounts active again, get referrals, etc. Sounds doable, right? I'm going in for an interview tomorrow at 11 AM. I'm pretty nervous cause I guess I'll have to look nice. Prolly a good thing I hit up NY & Co. today and got a few things... I need shoes though. Might go back to the mall real quick to find something... My other shoes are vicious 4.5" high booties of death, which are really cute but I'll prolly kill myself trying to walk in them. Or just look ridiculous. I told them I could start Monday... We'll see how it goes!

PS. The lady I talked to went to the University of Toledo and her mom lives just outside of Columbus... and she's a huge Buckeye fan. She said her boss gave her my resume because I graduated from OSU... Woo!

misadventures in chinese food

I had a strange hankering for Chinese food so I decided to get some. I went to Hong Kong Restaurant and got sweet and sour chicken. It was very different than Chinese in Ohio because it was a clean place with a nice eating area; there were no screaming angry Chinese ladies.

Also before I went to the restaurant I stopped by a new Christian book/gift/coffee shop. It was pretty nice in there; I might have to go hang out sometime and drink hot chocolate. I hope they have that. I forgot to check the menu. I bought a Fernando Ortega CD too. I like his voice... it is like a soft squishy pillow to my ears.

Anyhoo, progression of eating Chinese food:







:) I am next in line for promotion at my firm! :)

roundabouts, cookies, and MEAT

About one hour before I got off work I thought that a DQ Blizzard sounded really awesome (it's hot where I work). I remember when I was in Ohio a few weeks ago I had a bit of Sarah's and it was so delicious. But then on the way home I couldn't decide if I really wanted one... so I just went around the roundabout a few times! I thought it was convienent... I ended up getting a thin mint blizzard. But it's not nearly as good as a Butterfinger or Heath bar Blizzard. I should stop getting gross flavors just because I always want mint-flavored things.

Also, there is a great deal out there for some cheap meat! I just got 8 3oz. Polish sausages, 6 4oz. burgers, a knife set, and a cutting board from Omaha Steaks for $1.98. Read up how to do it here. (Hmm I just tried to make another account to send some meat to my parents but I think they might have realized what was going on and stopped. But might as well try...)

I also applied to two full-time jobs today but both companies already emailed me back to say that they are filled... sad :( I'll have to try to find more jobs tomorrow... :(

I milked a cow at the fair... it was awesome! I really want to live on a farm...

leckerli party madness

i asked what a certain item was - it was a pawpaw - but my family got into all the information of the fruit, like its scientific name and what family it was in and all sorts of other stuff. it's a "michigan banana," too, by the way...

hebrew

I wish I could understand Hebrew... I was just reading John 4 and Jesus kind of talks like a BA! Really... He just gets straight to the point and is like, woman, if only you knew! Anyhow, I wonder if the language that he originally used was polite language used with strangers or what the nuances there are. I will have to ask someone... One nice thing about being at seminary is that there is no shortage of people proficient in Biblical languages :P

memory verse for the week: John 3:34

Then Jesus explained: "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work".

ugly colors

I was going to sew a shower curtain today. I know that I had some cute fabric here but I can't find it... all I can find is a hideous sea-foam-greenish polka dot fabric and an equally awful yellow fabric. I don't really feel like going so far to JoAnn's (or spending money)... maybe Sarah will go with me later and we can make it an adventure. I was on hold with the doctor's office for thirty minutes (that was after not even being able to get through for the first thirty minutes) and then again for five minutes and I still haven't been able to talk to anyone. I will probably have a stupid ear infection until I go deaf from it, guhhhhh.

I already miss Wake Forest... but I do like my parents house. (It's so hugeee. And has nice carpet. My apartment's carpet is really gross.) And some of the people here. But really, I made so many more friends there that are much better friends than mostly anyone here. Which is sad. And good, because I live there now... :P

My eyes are tired... I don't know what I want to do today. I don't feel like doing anything beside cooking and sewing...

ps. i hope the tooth thing is going smoothly...

owwww :(

ear infections. i've had two in the last two months and at least five in the last year... :( it hurts so bad :( and i can't sleep on that side of my head cause even without touching it hurts and i really want to whine about it. hopefully i can get in to see the doctor on monday... but they are always booked :( i think i have strep too. i should get my tonsils removed finally...

*spaz*

books just came

i want to skip work

update: i went to work

haha

You smell like vanilla ice cream...! Praise the Lord.

life outside of school

i would like to see what it is like. it is not that school is too hard or too time consuming for me (i usually work about 15 hours a week), i just don't want to do it anymore... i have no motivation. i am trying to be diligent and honoring to God by being a good student, but... like Christina said to me, God took a break too! a lot of people here are encouraging me to stay in school, to keep trying, and say other encouraging things to me, but i haven't met one person that hasn't had a summer break since 8th grade (which i haven't because i did correspondence courses and then summer classes). not saying that i am more important or better or cooler than anybody else, but it's just rough. i think i would do better in school and would do a better job glorifying God as a student in maybe a year. or maybe a few years. but at this moment i am at peace with leaving school to find work.

although i have essentially no career ambitions, i would like to do something that involves making or fixing things, or something with my hands, something that is interactive... i would love to find a position in a church, but that probably won't go over too well since i have no experience... besides that i would like to work for a nonprofit group or as a nanny or something. i applied for one nanny position that i found on craigslist, but it was a bit of an old ad, and i haven't gotten a response, so i bet they already found someone.

i can't decide if i really want to go to the family force 5 concert or not. i was watching some of their live videos on youtube and it seems like they have fangirls... and that is scary. i would probably try to hide in a corner...

i finished reading velvet elvis. it is not worth reading.

i am going to see the dead sea scrolls tomorrow with someone from my small group and maybe one of their friends! they are at a natural history musuem here. apparently the only dinosaur with a fossilized heart is there so it should be interesting. i am really excited about this because i think it will be fascinating to see the scrolls and also i think it will be a great opportunity to make better friends with this person from my small group. i'm really excited about living life together and how involved i already am with the people in my group.

i might have a surprise.

boo

I went to the study abroad info session this morning. There is one semester long program, one eight-week summer program, a three week and a one week session, all at Oxford. But all the credit comes in as transfer electives... they won't even assign a class like "intro to apologetics" to the exact same class that every mdiv student is required to take... And the programs aren't certified by Oxford so that's lame (although some of the profs are excellent). But in any case, there was only one program in France, and it's 11 days long... and $3000 WITHOUT airfare. What kind of crack are they smoking?! Seriously. Maybe it's just a Europe thing. And the 8 week one in England is approx. $8000 without airfare, and the semester is about $20000. Ridiculous.

Maybe I will just take a month or two long vacation somewhere (where the exchange rate is favorable haha).

reading, 9/1/2008-10/31/2008

This is my two-month pleasure reading plan:

1) The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie (good)
2) What is a Healthy Church? by Mark Dever (highly recommended)
3) Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith by Rob Bell (it's heretical, btw)
4) Finding Faith: A Search for what makes Sense by Brian McLaren (also heretical)
5) Brisingr by Christopher Paolini
6) Mere Christianity by CS Lewis
7) First Meetings by Orson Scott Card
8) The Great Divorce by CS Lewis

I wonder if I will actually read them all (in the prescribed time).

[I didn't, but I did read six books. The list got changed a bit..]

my right eye hurts

how strange.

i had a most fabulous sunday; i went to church at 9 AM (crazy, right, i know... i've been going to the 10:45, but for a reason i had to go earlier. i'm a night church owl), and at 10:45 was the new member class. it's seven weeks long, and i might be baptized (again... again). i'm not sure if i need to be... i think i will talk to one of the pastors about it. last time we had a baptism service at newlife i had been wondering about it but wasn't sure. but having contemplated the matter, i think that i only believed with my head that Jesus was Savior in march, 2007, and that it wasn't until june, 2007 that i believed with my everything.

after membership class, i found my small group people, and most of us went to moe's for some food. i don't like that place. i've tried two different things there... chipotle is just too good! but i like the people, so it's good. then we went to good neighbor sunday, a music/free food & t-shirt/family event in a park by the seminary. it was fun and i chilled with the sg and joanna came! annemarie also stopped by right before i left.

then joanna and i, and some of her friends went to open door baptist church's baptism service at falls lake. it was awesome, and fun. then joanna and i talked and watched a movie ("scoop" with wolverine and scarlett johanson).

it was a long day but full of fun and people that i love...

at work the other day when i came, i looked in the dining room and seriously thought i saw joel osteen. understandably it scared me and made me want to share jesus with him... then somebody told me that one of my sg people was there and had asked if i was there. it was duncan, and he was sitting with the not-joel osteen! i went and talked to them and told the guy i thought he looked like joel. apparently it wasn't the first time... and duncan told me today that that guy shaved his head to not look like joel (joking or not, who knows...!). haha.

savior king by hillsong = awesome

stolen

Last night I went to a concert that had Red, Jars of Clay, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Switchfoot, and Third Day. I missed the first two... but man, Switchfoot and Third Day were beyond amazing... really.

In October I'm going to see Family Force 5... finally! They are coming to Columbus, too, and they rock, so you people should go see them!

this is incredibly scary

my boss wants me to look into this fellow Scott Hahn, who when researching contraception decided to convert to Catholicism because he found that it wasn't biblical. Apparently he was a protestant (Presbyterian). This is his most popular book. Apparently he he argues mostly about a covenant somehow, and against sola scriptura and sola fide. Incredibly scary! To have anyone believe that they can do something good enough a certain number of times to be considered "good enough" to be saved is frightening. Really, I sincerely want Catholics to read Galatians and think well about it. And Romans.

I will read this book eventually.

oh deliciousness

those of you in WF reading my blog (not many...): go to Shish Kabob! It's in the shopping center with food lion and rite aid, next to subway. it's delicious. it seems like there are daily specials... today was $4.99 for a kefta gyro (lebanese meatballs of deliciousness), fries, and a drink. i also got a side of falafel. they make them! they are a bit spicy but full of tastiness. i'm going to go back ASAP...

*stab*

1) I make no money at my job.
2) Gossip is terrible and people at my work love it.
3) My roommate hates me. (okay, likely not true)
4) I hate school.

yay cooking

I've been too busy and tired from work the last few days to even blog... wow. I can't do work like I did last week again because I was so tired I didn't get enough sleep and misses two classes (one of which meets only once a week so... it's kind of important to go, haha).

But,

1) I bought a printer... it should be here tomorrow. (meaning: i am going to go to wal-mart and get something like ten boxes of cereal for free... which will make up for the cost of the printer. yay. i mostly got it to print coupons though, seriously, because at school we can't install the proper coupon software needed to print most all internet coupons. so i have been missing out on serious amounts of awesomeness).
2) I got a couch and a dining set, which I am going to paint an offensively bright green
3) I get to cook today! Being a waitress is kind of lame because I always work during dinner so I don't get to cook. And on school days by the time I get home I'm pretty hungry so I just make something quick.

breakfast: eggs, toast with jelly, chocolate milk

lunch: grilled zucchini, stuffing, apple sauce, raspberry lemonade crystal light (which is so sweet that I more than double the amount of water the recommend)

dinner: I haven't decided yet... Debating between homemade tuna salad (it will be amazing because I have a lot of good stuff for it), or grands flaky layers... maybe I will serve tuna salad on the biscuits. :P Or I might go buy some grapes to make chicken salad. I have to been in a certain mood to eat tuna... and I don't think I'm there, haha. And I could probably get some plain chicken; right now i just have an already-marinated kind. which is really good.

integrity and purity

Yesterday's chapel message was by Dr. Akin and was on Psalm 101 - "Indicators of Integrity". The link has the manuscript, audio file, and his outline of points, which I will reproduce here:

The man of integrity:

1. Will honor the Lord. (v. 1)
2. Will live wisely. (v. 2)
3. Will care for his home. (v. 2)
4. Will monitor his eyes. (v. 3)
5. Will hate what is false. (v. 3)
6. Will attend to his heart. (v. 4)
7. Will guard his soul. (v. 5)
8. Will seek out the faithful. (v. 6)
9. Will deal with the deceitful. (v. 7)
10. Will understand the Lord's standards. (v. 8)

Psalm 101
A Vow of Integrity
A Davidic psalm.

1 I will sing of faithful love and justice;
I will sing praise to You, LORD.

2 I will pay attention to the way of integrity.
When will You come to me?
I will live with integrity of heart in my house.

3 I will not set anything godless before my eyes.
I hate the doing of transgression;
it will not cling to me.

4 A devious heart will be far from me;
I will not be involved with [a] evil.

5 I will destroy anyone
who secretly slanders his neighbor;
I cannot tolerate anyone
with haughty eyes or an arrogant heart.

6 My eyes [favor] the faithful of the land
so that they may sit down with me.
The one who follows the way of integrity
may serve me.

7 No one who acts deceitfully
will live in my palace;
no one who tells lies
will remain in my presence.

8 Every morning I will destroy
all the wicked of the land,
eliminating all evildoers from the LORD's city.

For a while I was confused because Dr. Akin was saying that we should only be around those who are blameless and have a servant's heart... well, I'm not blameless and sometimes I don't a servant's heart, and many people I know have issues. Which I was taking to mean that we shouldn't be around any other kind of people. Which would make discipleship and evangelism and having friends very hard. But I think he was talking about people on leadership teams. They are always addressing the men only, forgetting about the women... oh well.

Something that isn't as expounded in the manuscript is Dr. Akin's thoughts on purity. He challenged us all to commit to never being alone with someone of the opposite sex beside our wife/husband. I've heard talk about this before in Joshua Harris' books, and talking about it with other students. And then today, a classmate/neighbor that came over and had a brownie at my house apologized to me for us being alone, for the sake of our future spouses and ministries.

I really didn't know how to respond... I think I should apologize to him for making him uncomfortable - I don't think anyone should do anything that is against their conscience. But, I just do not feel convicted that being alone with a boy/guy/man is somehow impure or even a "hint of" impurity. I wouldn't be comfortable being alone with a married guy out of respect for him and his wife, and maybe that should carry over for me to all other guys, too. I pray that if that is what the Lord wills that the Holy Spirit would convict me of it... otherwise I think that I would just be falling further into legalism and church culture as opposed to truly seeking after God.

How/what do you feel/think about this?

hmm

me: well, I'm from Ohio.

her: Oh, I'm from Michigan!

him: Do you have Baptist churches in Ohio?

me: yes.

her: they are everywhere, you know.

him: man, they should build a fence around wake forest.

me: why's that?

him: to keep all the Christians in.

me: what grievances do you have against Christians?

him: well pull up a chair. Christians scares the h*** out of me. First, they don't oppose the war. Second, they are extremely sexist. They edit the Bible. (and he goes on)

(then I had to run off and get food)

(eventually he asked me to bring him water and turn it into wine)

yikes. I am really sad I didn't get a chance to further talk to this guy. It seems like he had a bad experience... I think he grew up in the Catholic church because he did that cross thingy once. Yeah... And this guy LOOKED angry and was talking really angry. Very confrontational. I wish I could have talked to him... :(

Had a good conversation with my boss tonight about how he feels about the Catholic church. He recommended that I listen to a sermon (? or... speech rather I guess) by a now Catholic, former Protestant theologian. I was going to, but I forgot his name...

dusty blinds.

My blinds are dusty. But that is for another day.

I am intensely excited about the rest of my church history classes (second half of church history, baptist history, and perhaps more). I am fascinated with denominations and how they came about, how they work, what they mean for the church, all sorts of things. I'm not sure how deep into that stuff they get into in a church history class; maybe it is in some other classes or I will have to read some books. Baptist history will be really interesting because so many people here and some other people that I know specifically identify as Southern Baptists. I do not. to some of them perhaps I appear a heathen with my dancing, tattoo-ing, card playing ways, and candle burning (I got asked if I was into seance the other day)...

I am also interested in the theology and evolution and everything else of worship.

-please pray for one of my professor's wives (am I wording that wrong? all of my professors only have one wife...) who is having surgery tomorrow

-please pray for the hearts of my boss and someone I met at a movie theater and that they would surrender their lives to the Lord

Have any of you read any books by Rob Bell? Every orthodox Christian that I know says he is a heretic. So... naturally, I want to read his books!

I am going to try to make sevichy fish... has anyone attempted this? I am scared :'(

I'm visiting a small group tomorrow! I haven't been to a small group here in WF yet, so I'm pumped. Also I am getting a loveseat tomorrow. Lord willing. So far he hasn't. And then Thursday I'm going to meet some awesome people for coffee..!! Meaning I will get hot chocolate or something, haha.

i wonder if this is true

I was talking to my friend the other day. He knows someone that was interviewing with the IMB to be a missionary. When pressed, the man admitted to having a sip of champagne a few years before at his sister's wedding. They told him this disqualified him for service with the IMB. When the man questioned that, and said "Jesus' turned water into wine," and even drank wine, the interviewer apparently replied "Jesus was not a Southern Baptist".

I hope this isn't true, for many reasons... mostly because

1) that seems to say to me that Southern Baptists are apparently more important than God and
2) I have had alcohol, including since I became a Christian (but not since I have come to seminary... I signed the covenant that says I won't and I will honor that). (I wonder if it was just that he had alcohol at all, or if he was a deacon or an elder at the time, or what. Because that could change things).

You can read Dr. Akin's (president of sebts) thoughts on alcohol here. I am one of those that "don't agree". He recently sent this out to us in a slightly different form. It kind of made me want to hit my head against the wall, but I understand where he is coming from. I wouldn't drink either if my future husband had that kind of experience.

on life

Sometimes I crack myself up. This afternoon I called a couple about their small group and got the husband, so I talked to him a bit and he said his wife would call me later. She did, but I didn't realize it.

My ringtone is "Awesome God" and I was walking around my house cleaning a bit when I started singing along, "our God is an awesome God, He reigns..." and totally didn't realize that 1) I started singing because my phone was ringing and 2) that music just started playing. My life has a soundtrack! Man, I love Jesus.

Today I saw a cute black kitty (well, cat) traipsing about our parking lot. I decided tot try to lure the kitty with some Chick-fil-a chicken (went there for lunch today with my friend, who is awesome, and I think I'm going to adopt him as my brother, but he doesn't know it yet), but it didn't work. Eventually one of my neighbors came out and he offered to give me a box. I tried to call animal control but they aren't open... so the poor kitty will wander around outside. :(

There is a pet store down the street from school. It is a crazy seafoam green and pink building so I've wanted to go there. They have all sorts of things, like a barracuda, and HUGE parrots, and tarantulas and scorpions and all sorts of lizards and snakes. And then I turned around and realized that the huge thing behind me was a cage, for a yellow (albino) burmese python that is at least fifteen or twenty feet long and probably close to a foot wide... it was awesome. They feed it rabbits, and breed with it. Next time I go in I'm going to ask how they do that. Apparently they sell her babies. And then people let them go usually when they are too big. I would be so scared if I randomly saw a 20 foot python in the wild.. then I'd prolly try to pet it. :P

I want a snake. If I move outside of school housing it will be to a place that will let me have a ball python or something...

God is so good

He really is, and I am amazed every single day of the ways that He works.

Just a quick post, because I have a lot of reading to do:

Tonight I went to the International Justice Mission (IJM) meeting. I've been planning on going but then was about not to because of the forementioned homework, but I felt led by the Holy Spirit to go so I went and wow. It was a beautiful thing to see people be so honest and heartfelt and full of love for so many people that just are not being loved. Honestly I thought that the people there were going to be making idols of their causes, but first and foremost they exist as a organization to glorify the Lord. I think I nearly broke down in tears about five times, and was convicted of a great need and urgency, for my complete obedience and total surrender, and so many other things... it is really hard to process and I need to go do reading and then pray and pray and pray and probably cry.

Yeah. Hope all you people have had a good day and are rejoicing in the Lord.

the shack

Before I read “The Shack” by William Young, I had heard two main things 1) that it would probably change my life/relationship with God and 2) that it was heretical. Those things combined sounded exciting enough, so I opened it up. It took me a day or so to get past his writing style/voice (horrific), but after that I finished it in a day. I didn't find it that interesting, I didn't cry, I didn't find myself changed or renewed or refreshed, or anything else. Things I noticed were:

1) God was represented as a human. What? Has “Willie” read the Ten Commandments? see 1 tim. 6:16 ("...the only one who has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom none of mankind has seen or can see, to whom be honor and eternal might. Amen" (HCSB).John Piper says this is "God is the Gospel:" "...created beings simply cannot look on the Creator and see him for who He is" (Piper 48).)

2) God was represented as a woman. Young was correct when he said that God is neither male nor female, but God revealed Himself to us in a masculine way for a reason, and is referred to as “Him,” “He,” “the Father,” etc. throughout the Bible.

3) Mack swore in front of God. Yeah.

4) Young writes that everyone in the world was forgiven of their sins, but only some choose to have a relationship. People are not forgiven until they accept Jesus Christ, who died, a perfect sacrifice, who took the punishment in our place.

5) Young seems to hate seminaries, studying the Bible, the Church, churches, and Sunday School.

All of these things were very troubling to me. I looked around for a review of “The Shack” and the best one seemed to be this one. The author of that review goes more in depth and gives more details about the book, and I think that this review is a must-read for anyone who reads “The Shack”. Especially because this book is so popular, I think it is even more important that people understand that the book contains so many lies/fallacies/misrepresentations about God, the gospel, etc. that it will do more harm than good to many people. (The best way to be a good heretic is to use “Christianese” but change what words mean. Satan and his demons often masquerades as angels of light.)

Challies.com has many other reviews of books that have been personally helpful to me. They are objective and seek truth as revealed to us through the Bible.

Read what another blogger has to say here.

Watch Mark Driscoll's take on the book.

*air guitar*

1) Every once in a while I feel like listening to 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake (“She wants it”). With a title like that, I think it's “worldly” and with language “she wants it like a nympho” [!! I can't believe they play this stuff on the radio for kids...] and various swear words, I know it is. I wish JT would get to know Jesus and write music about Him, and dance like he does for the glory of God...! :)

2) Banks employ cool people. I was scared about getting in with a new bank (I chose Wachovia) because the people at Ohio Bank (then Sky Bank, now part of Huntington) were so nice and awesome and personally knew me. But the guy I met at Wachovia was nice. The only thing that bothered me was the required greeting “Welcome to Wachovia!”. I heard it about 10 times when I was there.

3) The shopping center where Wachovia (and it seems like, all other banks in Wake Forest) is located is just a terrible location. It took at least 7 minutes to turn left from that road (New Falls of Neuse Road... lol) onto Capital Boulevard.

4) People on Capital drive like they hate the world and have to get someone really quick or their family will all be murdered.

5) I love Jesus.

1.Last night when I was reading I was reading one of Emily's favorite Psalms (it was at least a few months ago), Psalm 73, somehow I got onto reading some other Psalms, particularly 62 and 63... They hit me in just the right way. I think Psalm 63 might pretty well sum up what the author of “The Shack” was getting at (what we need to do): Thirst after God and meditate on His strength and glory and praise Him because He is our God and satisfies us and reconciled us back to Himself... Last week in chapel we sang “In Christ Alone” and seriously, it was really rousing... “I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken... Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him... Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour your hearts before Him. God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:1-2, 6, 8). Amen.

6) Lately I've been reading the HCSB. I think that the NLT (what I mostly read) is better for reading aloud (than say like, the NIV), but as I learn a little bit more about Greek and Hebrew and how things are translated, I see that the NLT words things in a more roundabout/confusing way. Take for example Romans 8:30: “And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory” (NLT). HCSB says “And those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified”. Uhm... I like the NASB better still... by also, where most translations say “by faith” the NLT goes around in a way that says “because of their faith,” “through faith,” etc., all of which I think make are not nearly as clear as by faith and can lead to meanings totally off from what the original meaning/s is/are (one verse you can compare with is Romans 4:11).

7) I started reading “The Gun Seller” by Hugh Laurie (yeah... Dr. House. My older little sister got it for me last Christmas and I figure I should read it before this Christmas, haha. It's hilarious so far. His humor reminds me of... myself. It's a bit hard to read though because those British people are so convoluted and use strange words and strange sentence construction.

8) Jesus has been changing my heart in a really awesome way lately and it's awesome.

so yeah

I was supposed to meet a guy that I met at the movie theater the other day, but when it came down to it I told him I didn't want to go to his apartment/be alone and then he stopped talking to me. Yeah...

Sometimes I don't know if 1) I am crazy or 2) if everybody hates me. I think that this is an issue that I have and I really need to stop thinking that everybody is passive-aggressively trying to ignore me/piss me off. I try to understand that I am loved by God and that I am worthy because I am loved by Him (not loved by Him because I am worthy). But that has been really hard for me for the last few months.

When I was in Columbus, I felt so shunned... It seemed like if I asked people to do things with me (alone, as a group, whatever) people didn't want to or were always busy and then would never get back to me when they weren't busy. It wasn't for the last two or three weeks there that I actually felt cared about by anyone that that is why it is so bittersweet for me to have moved here. But most of the people that I love in Columbus are moving anyway.

Moving to a new school in the US is totally different than moving to China for a study abroad. When I went to China, I went with a bunch of other study-abroaders and lived with them, so we made friends within that group. Everyone understandably wanted to have friends and people to be close to, so people looked in that group. But here, it is so different. A lot of people have already been at the school and have friends that they hang around with or are already established in this area and stay within their group. I was so excited when last week my roommate asked me to go hang out with her friends... that was really nice, because I actually got to talk to people. I've hung out with some of my neighbors and stuff but it just seems like they don't want to hang out with me... I guess. I don't want to or need to dominate anyone's time, but I dunno... study sessions at a bookstore? I feel like since we are all in seminary that could be a group activity. Maybe not. And it sucks because I guess I'm not that social.

Anyhow it is super lonely here. Sometimes I get to talk to people but I never get to talk about how I feel or what is going on in my heart or prayer requests or anything and it is really hard... and I have been constantly in prayer but I really want some friends, too. I just feel weird sometimes, like I'm not good enough, not into the right music, not into the right sports, whatever, to be included.

But I am so grateful for the people that God has put in my life lately, like my nice neighbors that take me to church with them, invite me to hang out, and let me do laundry at their place; and for everything else those people already mean to me, I'm sure they don't know how much. And in those people I have seen people come from such different circumstances than me. I'm so used to people from Ohio and people from suburban areas. I am so excited to see how God is working in their lives and I just want to know more about them, but I don't want to seem like a leech. And I don't want to be like “dude, maybe I can go read with you guys next time” or anything because I feel like I'm not wanted.

And people in Columbus, I really love you, like Sarah, Emily, Christina, PJ, and Josh... when I was in Columbus and even more so now I feel so blessed to know people like you that love like you do, it really feels like the love of Jesus. Really.

I am bad at loving. I want to love people totally self-sacrificially but I get so confused as to what that looks like... Maybe I am over-thinking it.

I'm going to stop being emo now and go back to reading the Shack (153 pages in so far).

some thoughts on "blue like jazz"

seriously, just some.

As a whole I enjoyed this book. There are so many things that Donald Miller points out that helped me to see and understand things in a new or different way. I gravitated between being disgusted with the book and crying over parts that show God's transforming love and power.

My main problem with the book is how Miller seems to believe that “Christian spirituality” is the same as being a Christian. He says he “think[s] loving Jesus is something you feel,” and I don't disagree, and it is “very difficult to get on paper,” more likely impossible, but to Miller, it is all inward. It is about the inward emotions that he has and what happens to him. Chapter 18 bothered me. Miller talked about love and how the non-Christian hippies that he lived with in the woods were better at loving people and he wanted to love more like them. I would hope that he would want to love more like Jesus, instead of always finding worldly things that he wants to be like. It is so sad to me that Miller did not feel loved in his community, but the only way to really know love is to know Jesus. Miller tries to partner righteousness with wickedness and find harmony between Christ and the devil (2 Cor. 6:14-15). Throughout the book I was wondering, why is Don a Christian? I could tell that he loves Jesus, but I feel like Don doesn't think other people should love Jesus; I felt that Miller probably thinks that this is his way and it's cool but it's not the only way.

Page 114: “He saw evangelism as reaching a felt need. I thought this was beautiful and frightening.” I am disturbed that Donald Miller gets caught up in what people do wrong. Yes, some people evangelize just to get a notch on their belt or feel like they are doing something good. But that is not what evangelism is, evangelism is presenting the gospel and letting God do the rest (that's the definition of evangelism that I like right now; I'll write about some more in a different post). Although servant evangelism is so important and helpful, it is definitely not the only way that people should evangelize. We have been reconciled to God. We have hope in Jesus Christ, we are alive in Him. That is awesome and beautiful and amazing and if you think about the beauty of the gospel everyday, I pray that the overflow of love and joy and peace that you experience flows to other people, people who are lost and are going to be condemned to eternal separation from God. I don't want that for other people. I want them to have the same free gift that I received from God and that is the gift of mercy, grace, salvation, love...

Another part that talks about evangelism is on page 119 when Miller's professor asked him if he was a “Christian evangelist”. I'm sorry Miller didn't say yes – how many of you were saved by someone that would be considered a “professional evangelist,” like someone that preaches on the Oval or a street corner? A former boyfriend shared the gospel with me. I have shared the gospel with friends and seen them come to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. What about you? We all need to be evangelists. The Lord God commands us to: “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth .There fore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 28:18-19). Anyhow, surrendering my life to Jesus is the coolest, most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. So I want to talk about Him!

Page 115: This is my least favorite part of the book – when Miller refuses to defend the term “Christianity” on a radio show and say that he would rather “talk about Jesus and how [he] came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes [him]”. I know and I understand that many people associate terrible, ungodly things with the term “Christianity” or “Christian”. But to be a Christian means to be a Christ-follower. I hope that as Christ-followers we can try to change what people see a Christian as. I know people that have parents that confess to be Christians, but when they see the change in their children those same parents that said they were Christian say, “oh, I see that I'm not Christian. I didn't realize it was like that”. I apologize that Christians do terrible things and that people that claim to be Christians do terrible things. But I will not apologize for being a Christian.

Miller also talks about when he set up a confession booth on his college campus. One student said to him, “I forgive you”. What I see in this is Miller letting these people become his “functional savior” - Miller needs to feel okay about himself so he seeks someone created by our Creator God to tell him it's okay and to forgive him. But Miller can't have forgiveness from his friend, forgiveness is a gift from God.

I also liked some things about the book. I liked the like “some people believe that if they have a cross around their neck or tattooed on them or something, it has some sort of mystical power” (pg. 125). This is funny because I have a cross tattoo. But I don't believe it has any mystical power. :)

I also liked how honest he was. I feel like I can call him Don. But, I wish Don would stop being disillusioned and do something about it.

hmm wow

"healer" songwriter fakes cancer

leftover meals and lameness (not related)

1) Seminary cookout was lame. It's a bunch of kids things (like one of those blow up rooms you bounce around in, a blow-up slide, and a kids rock climbing wall) with a bunch of families, and no one I knew... so I left.

2) For lunch I mixed leftover black bean salad (with corn and salsa and lime) with a rice/pasta cheesy thing that I threw chickpeas into. I got 10 servings of black bean salad from using one can each of corn and black beans, so I had to find things to do with it! And the rice thing was one of those prepackaged things, which are too salty and gross by themselves.

For dinner I had leftover mac and cheese with black bean salad made into a burrito. haha... it was tasty. i miss pj's. but not the price there!

i'm supposed to get a couch tonight but the lady hasn't emailed me back with her address. suck. double suck because a friend's roommate is going to go with me with his truck to get it and i don't want to inconvenience him. but i made him brownies. :P

i'm baking brownies

But not for me. :)

I lift my hands, I'm so desperate to feel Him
So let's be honest, without Him life just passes by

Slow down, we're slowly dying
But we can live again
Be lifted up in Him

- from "Let's be honest" by This Beautiful Republic, a group I really dig lately

Today I opened my beloved macbook to find that it was being weird. When I restarted I got a flashing question mark... not good! I searched around online (on my desktop... yay, the internet is working on it today!) for some fixes, and finally tried to repair the disc from a boot disc or whatever... but it won't work. Apparently the closest Apple store is 30 minutes away, so I will have to call them first and see if they will be able to do something about it before I go there. If this laptop is dead... I guess I will buy another, because it is so much easier to take notes on a laptop than write them. But I don't know if I will buy an apple. :'(

Then I went to wal-mart and goodwill... the candle sticks I have wanted since I've been here were still there and now I am the proud owner of them! But when I went to the dollar store after that to get a Sunday paper (they were sold out already, again... I should go earlier I reckon), I found that I didn't have my wallet... so I drove back to goodwill, and right when I got there, a woman and her family saw it and picked it up and I was so relieved that it was there. It's amazing cause it was right in the middle of a few empty spots, and when I left goodwill the first time there were four different cars with people in them and they could have taken my wallet. None of my money was taken either! Which is excellent because it had all my tips from waitressing this week in it =O

I might get a couch tonight. Now I should do reading. I have a lot.

I hate when people call me a "young 'un" and I'm barely 4 years younger than them. I feel so belittled and disrespected. I don't know if I should say something to the person, or if this is my problem and I shouldn't have a problem with it, or if I should just take it. After this happens I go home and read Psalms for hours because I get depressed.

I'm lonely and want friends and someone to hug :(

AND!

Yesterday, I met someone that eats raw ground beef, and I officially graduated from OSU! (Whenever I mention OSU people either 1) have to be told the whole name, 2) are shocked I went to a pagan institution, or 3) remark how big it is. No OSU football fans here, I guess. (Everybody likes Duke or NC State basketball. Lame.)

some quotes from "apology"

Currently I am working through Tertullian's "Apology".

A quick bit about Tertullian:
-lived 155-222 AD
-apologist
-lived in Rome
-introduced the word "trinity" and the terms "new testament" and "old testament"
-apparently wrote in very difficult to understand Latin and I feel that the translator of my English version captured that perhaps too effectively.

This work is so far about the Romans' unfair treatment of Christians. In it he brings up the topic of abortion and this is best-worded description of abortion I've read:

"In our case, murder being once for all forbidden [in Roman law], we may not destroy even the foetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter whether you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to the birth. That is a man which is going to be one; you have the fruit already in its seed.

Then he goes on to talk about how the Romans are crazy for accusing the Christians of cannibalism when "the entrails of the very bears [that ate the gladiators and/or criminals], loaded with as yet undigested human viscera, are in great request".

Ew.

dear boss,

Dear my Boss,

Yelling is not an acceptable form of communication. It does not spur me on to do anything, beside make me pray to the Lord for patience and a loving heart that will not want to burn your restaurant down. Just because I am one of the young girl employees (we range from high schoolers to seminary students in this category) does not mean that I am a child that will perhaps magically understand you better when you say something louder and with more anger in your voice. I work diligently for you and treat you with respect, and I would like some of the same. Or I will quit.

Just like you don't yell at the middle-aged guy that makes our pizza, you should not yell at me. Or your son. It doesn't really say "I love you, but you need to do your work". It says something more along the lines of, "I'm being ridiculous and embarrassing myself because I don't know how to discipline my child and even more than that, I am totally unreasonable in what I expect".

In love,

Kirsi

gah

The school is a parking-nazi. There are two problems with this:

1) There is not nearly enough parking.
2) "Proper" parking spots are not clearly defined.

I also feel there should be a grace rule for first time mess-ups.

also they reminded me of this (that i am going to hell for parking wrong):

The authories [sic] that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 12:1b-2

observations

1) The closest Chipotle is 9 miles away.

2) Nobody here likes Chipotle anyway.

3) Nobody knows what Tim Hortons is. Seems like the Canadian chain has yet to infiltrate the South...

4) A lot of people here have accents.

5) There is a Chinese/Mexican restaurant! I want to go there (with Liz).

6) I like Sonic and Chick-fil-A.

7) All the preachers here seem to YELL every word.

8) Yelling scares me.

9) I believe Yelling (a sermon) is acceptable at points. It does not convey your passion/excitement/the seriousness of something, etc. if it is done ALL THE TIME. (See? The same rule applies to typing. DOESN'T IT DRIVE YOU NUTS WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS? It's the same with preaching.

10) I wear t-shirts often.

11) I hate that Ikea doesn't have online order tracking. I could call, but last time I did that I was on hold for over 20 minutes.

12) I hate that I don't have my own printer because I was going to rob Wal-Mart of all their cereal (and some other things) today with coupons, but in the school computer lab I needed administrator access to install the coupon printing program so... I only got two coupons instead of 11. :( But I did pay only $1 for two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats Just Bunches. On the sites I read it said that it was 2/$4 but it was 2/$5 at my Wal-Mart. Oh well. Maybe on Craigslist I will be able to find a free printer. And then get free cereal. :D

first day as a seminary student!

1) My evangelism prof seems fantastic... today he shared with us how he got to where he is now, as a professor at Southeastern. His story was a beautiful story of redemption and the love of Jesus Christ, his heart for the lost, and his love for his wife. It was really amazing; seriously, I teared up in class.

2) My OT prof was wearing slacks, a nice shirt and tie, and Crocs. It made me smile. We started class with a hymn that nobody knew.

*One time I wore Crocs. They were so amazingly comfortable! I don't know why everyone thinks they are so ugly. If I see some on sale somewhere I will probably buy them. :P

3) Christina (part of the worship team at newLife-osu) was right. There are people at seminary that are there to get ahead, that are nasty/mean/unloving, self-centered, etc. It makes me sad.

*Not that I am not a terrible person, undeserving of everything, saved only by the radical grace of Jesus Christ.

I ordered some furniture for my bedroom from Ikea today. I am viewing it as an investment - hopefully I will get many good years of use from it. This weekend I'm hitting up some garage sales to get things like silverware, dishes, a dining room table and chairs, and maybe a sofa. I'll have to find someone with a truck and convince them to go with me...

Another thought: mayonnaise tastes weird. Before when I made chickpea salad (tastes like egg salad), I used Miracle Whip. I didn't realize that it made it slightly sweet. At least, I think that's what it was. In any case, I added some powdered sugar to the chickpea salad to make it less salty/biting (I can't find the words to describe the taste).

Now I'm going to read more of Blue Like Jazz; I'm loving it so far. Next is "Questioning Evangelism" by Randy Newman. I've wanted to read this book for a while, but now I get to read it for my evangelism class! Sometimes I just don't know how to talk to people about Jesus and I think that reading about it will really help me.

it's real now!

My eye hurts... I scheduled for classes (nature and practice of evangelism, church history I, old testament I) and bought my books ($60 for 4 books! sweet... and I wanted to read half of the books I bought in any case!). I also bought the Shack... I understand that it is heretical but apparently it's a great read! :D

Work tonight... not really looking forward to it. I'd rather squish around on my air mattress; I love it.

music: "all my love" - charlie hall. love this song...

(edit: oh well, i had to buy some more books and the total for my three classes was about $100)

ahahahaha

I definitely got a new air mattress today and it's so fabulous; I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight. My hip bones have been hurtin' real bad cause I sleep on my side and they've just been getting ground into the floor! Yessss.

I'll update about my church culture shock later. Sims now.

updates

I moved to North Carolina on Monday. Sarah, being awesome like she is, came with me so that the 12 hour drive (we stopped a few times and got lost for 1.5 hours) was pretty bearable! It was an interesting drive, mostly through small highways in the mountains. I only almost ran off the road once, which is surprising, because I kept getting distracted and looking at the pretty mountains and trees.

Tuesday I applied for two jobs, both at Italian/pizza restaurants. The seminary has an employment office and gave me a listing of places to apply at. I was going to apply to be a nanny with a few places and at a catering place, but yesterday, after I got lost and drove in a 5 mile circle (twice) looking for Wal-Mart, I got a call. The owner wanted to know if I could meet him for an interview in less than 20 minutes! Haha... Thankfully, I was close to the restaurant, and met him. It's a family restaurant in "downtown" Wake Forest. He must have thought that I could do the job because I started yesterday at 4!

I did go to Wal-Mart, to buy an air mattress. It's not really in my budget, but sleeping on the floor sucks. Anyhow, I bought a Wal-Mart brand mattress, and a Coleman pump, since they didn't have a twin sized Coleman mattress or a Wal-Mart brand pump. But the two don't work together! Serious suck. I don't really feel like driving around so maybe when I do I will get a different mattress. Oh well. At least when I actually buy a mattress, I will really appreciate it! I still don't know how I will get any furniture I buy here... Maybe somebody I work with or at church will have a truck! I could stand by their truck after church and wait for them to come to it and hit them up for some furniture transporting. Haha.

The restaurant seems pretty cool. I'm going to be a waitress. Yesterday I shadowed a waitress and watched the hostess and just tried to figure things out. I work again today and I'm pretty sure tomorrow... I hope that I will be able to remember the table numbers and who ordered what and stuff. @_@ The people there seem really great, too. Most of the waitresses and hostesses seem to be high school girls... They didn't believe that I wasn't their age. :( And another waitress that is a nice older woman thought I was a college freshman. Back to looking 15 I guess... >_<

Funny story: all the dishwashers are young guys. Apparently most of them (three) got fired last week, because instead of actually cleaning a bunch of dishes, they just threw them away. Yikes!

The pizza chef is a cool guy that is starting at seminary just like me! He was a pastor for a few years and before that he and his wife were missionaries in Mexico. He is really nice and fun to talk to and he recommended the church he attends to me. I was already planning on going to that church this week, but it's nice to already know someone that will be there! He says it is great and stuff so yay.

After work tonight I'm going to start reading "Blue Like Jazz"! Yay. I heard it's really sweet.

this is so true

It drives me INSANE when people start touching/rubbing/caressing/snuggling/whatever with their significant other during church. It is nasty. Nobody wants to see it; thanks.

ugh i hate living at home

I'm living at home for four days before I move to NC. It's terrible. If I hadn't moved out back in March I think I would have gone insane by now.

1) They are disgustingly dirty, not helpful, and not the brightest.

Nobody in this house (5 people plus me) helps do dishes. Yesterday I found the drying sink full of various pots and pans that were very obviously dirty, with food and messes all over them. So I redid all the dishes, and cleaned out the sink and wiped all the counters. Like three times yesterday, and so far twice today. People leave their drink cups everywhere for days (dried up lemon slices...) and refuse to run and then unload the dishwasher. I don't think that I am a particularly stringent neat-freak, but I don't see how people can just sit around watching TV while dirty dishes stew when they are supposed to be clean and counters have crumbs and various little drops of spills all over them. GAHHHH. Oh, and then people try to vacuum ceramic tile floors by taking apart the vacuum cleaner and using just the metal pipe. Are you freaking kidding me?! Get the little attachment head... that's what it is for!! But no. Instead of using things that we are lucky enough to have, like a nice vacuum cleaner, said person decides to try to destroy the ceramic tile while not doing that good of a job of cleaning AND making an awful, high-pitched, "this is ruining me" sound of metal on tile.

2) I am apparently the personal chef of the house.

I'm lucky because I seem to be getting away with drinking water in my bedroom (WOW! @_@). But, when I wandered downstairs about twenty minutes ago to look into making lunch (I decided against it because we have no whole grains, no decent vegetables, etc.), someone asked "are you cooking something, Kirsi?" I replied with a maybe. Then they said "well then you need to consider the rest of the family and cook for them". What... why? It's 1:30 in the afternoon and not the best time to be eating lunch. Also, if I make a sandwich, why should I make a bunch for others? I understand that I could, and I would, but this person didn't make it clear if they just wanted me to be their unhired help and make them a sandwich, or what. My can't they just ask, "will you make me one?" Why sure, I would! Instead, they said, well your dad might be hungry when he gets home in an hour. What...? Why would someone want to eat lunch at 3 PM, likely a soggy sandwich that doesn't have what you want on it because you weren't there when it was made? GAHHHH. Seriously. If people want something from me, can't they just ask instead of being passive-aggressive nasty? Seriously...

Maybe I'll runaway to a coffee shop. And drink hot chocolate.

ADVENTURE

Yesterday instead of doing Russian homework (which I really need to do considering there are only a few days left for me to get all the tests done...) Sarah and I decided to venture down High Street. We walked to three different Asian markets. There we saw this:



It's coconut jelly. Looks pretty innocent, right? Think again. The main ingredient is "shredded gelatinous mutant coconut". I don't think I want to eat that. :(

On the way back we decided to get ice cream. We went to a place called Denise's. They had a million flavors and they all sounded sooo delicious, unlike Jeni's, which is really great, but has so many funky flavors that I have to try 5 or 15 before I find one I like. I tried salty caramel, cucumber, and carrot cake. Eventually I decided on getting a half scoop of thin mint oreo and a half scoop of carrot cake.



The carrot cake ice cream was really great. It had that fabulous spice flavor that I love so much.

Sarah had a lychee ice cream float in blackberry syrup flavored italian soda. It was really awesome. I tried to get some blackberry syrup at World Market today but they didn't have any. Sad face :(

Today I woke up at 7:30 AM to get my sister from golf a bit later... Then I unsuccessfully tried to nap at my parents house (I fell asleep after 3 AM) before going to Cap City Diner with my grandparents. I love them. And the food was good.

Now I'm bumming around because I am super tired. Maybe I should nap. But, I hate naps. But I really need to get Russian done. I have only the days and months to memorize and then a BUNCH of review to do before I can do the tests. Hopefully I pass...! WOO HOO.

After church on Sunday was great fun. Our waiter at Applebee's was a cool dude named Sean. He is actually a minister at the Catholic church that I could basically fall out my window onto (well... it's across the street). A bunch of us went to another place after Applebee's and hung out, and Sean came.

Now... NAPPY NAPPY TIME. Or maybe I will avoid napping and studying by cleaning and packing. I like that idea.

investigation of my facebook profile.

My facebook profile is pretty straight forward. I say some things about myself. Of course, I don't think anyone could very much judge my personality by my profile, but I suppose one could say that my facebook profile does fit [facets of] my personality.

The part of my profile that I most mull over is my birthday. Should I show only the month and the day, or my full birthday, with the year? Until now (save for a few days every now and then) I've displayed only the month and day. I think I fear reverse age discrimination: that people will think I am weird (or stupid, or too rushed... I was here a long time!) for graduating college at (barely...) 20, starting seminary too young, a stupid 20 year old (although sometimes I am just that), etc. But now I've decided to get over it and show my full age. I am going to accept being 20.

Then there are the relationship options. What is the difference between leaving the "status" blank, so nothing shows, and putting in "single"? Does putting in "single" make me seem too desperate?! Does leaving it blank say I am not interested in anything whatsoever?

Then I wonder about the "interested in" aspect. I leave it blank. I leave it blank because I feel like being interested in guys is the only acceptable thing. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm offended that this question may be asked. Of course, I think it is perfectly fine for people to be interested in nobody, if they don't want to get married. But am I saying that by leaving it blank?

And then, "looking for"! I hate this section. I don't like any of the options. Networking seems stupid to do on facebook. "Friendship"? I am not going to add someone on facebook unless I know them in person (or want to... or something. There are exceptions to this rule. For example, I'm facebook friends with my future roommate). Hmm, "dating". I don't like what images are conjured up when I think of dating. But if I checked "dating" or "a relationship" I think it would make me seem to desperate. Or gross. Or overly interested in being in a relationship or dating. I hope by leaving it blank I'm not turning off potential suitors. But, I also hope that potential suitors will look past my facebook profile and just talk to me...

this is what my hair looks like in the morning

It's usually always like this, a faux-hawk.



I know. So attractive...

mormons exposed. literally.

I heard about this calendar the other day from 104.9 - the River, the "kid-friendly and uplifting" radio station in Columbus, that likes to edit out guitar parts in Kutless and Jeremy Camp songs (terrible...). They said that it features returned Mormon missionaries minus their shirts, "in modest poses". Chad Hardy, the guy that made it and a lapsed Mormon, was excommunicated from the LDS church.

I'm not sure what I think about this. When I heard about it on the radio, I thought that it was inappropriate for kids. Now, I think it is half funny, and half bad, because I can't think of any reason that people put good-looking guys on a calendar with their shirts off besides to lust after them. And that's bad.

Chad Hardy said that he thought it would be a good way for younger people to talk to their friends about the Mormon faith, because it would break the very wholesome/stiffy/"we never do anything wrong"/more righteous than thou attitude that apparently makes people nervous about the faith. I can see where he is coming from with that, but I think he takes it in the wrong direction.

I have a book called "Mormonism Unmasked" that I am going to get around to reading eventually, but it's about Mormon beliefs, not half-naked pretty Mormon guys. :P

PS. The 2009 calendar comes out soon.

sad realizations

Lately I have been feeling unhealthy and... gross. Really. I've wanted to lose weight before, and have been moderately successful, but always fall off track.

The initial problems are with my eating habits. I eat very unhealthy. I eat because I am bored, anxious, and in front of the TV (bad...). If I'm distracted all day playing the Sims 2 or doing stuff, I won't eat as much. But otherwise, I just get bored and eat. This is bad. I have also noticed that since I got my job (January) and moved into this apartment (March 23rd) I've been eating a lot of junk food. I used to never eat chips, cookies, candy, etc. At work, I could have whatever I wanted, so, I took what was tasty instead of what was healthy (sometimes). The real problem is with this apartment. We ALWAYS have baked goods. Between the cookie addictions of my three roommates, the cake making, the random goodies brought from wherever, and the infamous junk drawer (a whole kitchen drawer FULL of crap from one of my roommates' mom), I have easy access to this junk. At my parents house we barely had real food, nonetheless junk food...

So I have been trying to consciously make an effort to 1) not eat because I feel like it (it may seem obvious but it's hard to not do. I was listening to that Mark Driscoll sermon that I posted about earlier and realized that I may have a worship problem [not "food addiction" - that I choose eating to please myself rather than eating and enjoying the food that the Lord has blessed us with in a healthy way that will honor our bodies, where the Holy Spirit dwells), and 2) eat less and healthier.

Moving out of this apartment into a new one, that doesn't already have a stockpile of crap, will be great. Totally getting rid of the temptations is the best way for me to overcome a lot of things. Hopefully I can keep my fridge, freezer, and cabinets full of tasty, more filling, and more healthy items. And not chocolate and rice krispy bars and cookies and what-have-you.

For me, this means eschewing meat. Slowly I would like to have a vegetarian diet. I think I will still eat dairy products and eggs (although I found there are many substitutes for eggs in recipes. Like apple sauce or bananas. I found this out because I usually never have eggs. Egg salad can be made really tastily with chickpeas. The only thing I can think of to do with actual eggs is make omelets, hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, and fried eggs.) I think that overall, doing a 180 on my eating habits will be great.

I'm also going to stop eating cold cereal. Mostly because it is not filling. I usually eat two serving sizes (one serving of cereal is so tiny...) and a little milk and then I'm hungry two hours later! I found a recipe for breakfast bars that I want to try, and I also like hot cereal, pancakes, muffins (for weekends), and shakes/fruit smoothies (for weekdays).

Today I made chickpea salad (like egg salad). I'm really excited to try it for lunch tomorrow. I was going to have it for dinner tonight but Sarah came over with two pizzas that she got. She got a job! At a pizza place. So they gave her some pizzas. She made one! She tried to make is seem like she did a terrible job but then she had a hard time telling the difference between hers and the managers... Finally we found hers because some of the pepperonis weren't flat. :P

Tomorrow, breakfast will be a banana peanut butter smoothie (I ran out of chocolate syrup...). Lunch with be chickpea salad on two pieces of wheat toast with lettuce. Snack will be... something... and dinner will be... something. I want to try making a chili. But I barely have any food here (besides bananas... I bought six pounds the other day for two dollars! freaking sweet, huh. I got two bags of the "old" bananas, which are really the ripe bananas. AKA the not greener than limes bananas. Yay.)

The secondary problems are between me and exercise. I never have liked exercising. In China, I started running with some of my friends. I looked around online at how far/fast to run and stuff, and of course, started very slowly... but I got shin splints. They hurt so bad that I could barely walk. I tried doing exercises everyday to strength my ankle muscles, the muscles on the front of the leg - all the exercises that were suggested for shin splints. And I rested. But it didn't help. Today I went out running at Tuttle Park, down by the river, and it seems like I still have the shin splints and they are back with a fiery vengeance and hurt so much. I'm going to see my doctor, I think, and ask about them.

I also hate exercising where people can see me because I suck at exercising, sweat a lot, etc. That is why I don't like gyms. I also don't want to exercise alone but haven't been successful with finding a work-out partner.

I think I should try bicycling. At Southeastern they have a gym. I'm not sure if they have a stationary bike, but I bet they do. Maybe I could use that one. At least I am trying to get in shape, right? I really think my fear of people seeing me exercise is ridiculous and totally unfounded...

I'm also planning on biking to school (why I got the apartment I did as opposed to the one that was much farther away).

So. I have 39 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight! (This goal weight that I need to lose 39 pounds to get to is not unreasonable, either. It's in the middle of the ideal weight range for women my height. I'm not trying to be skinny; I don't have skewed views as to what women need to weigh to be healthy or "normal" or attractive, even if the media tries so hard to indoctrinate me.)

It's so much. I don't know if I can bring myself to put on my blog what my weight as of tonight was. :(

At least my grades are good so far! And Russian is coming along. Kind of.

things to do. i like lists.

I really, really, really like lists. I make some everyday - things to do, things to buy, things to write about, things to read, things to watch (yesterday...).

This is a list of stuff I would like to do/see before I go be with Jesus:

Climb Mt. Fuji (08/2003)

Walk on the Great Wall of China (11/3/2007)

Go to Tienanmen Square (11/2/2007)

Go skydiving

Run 5 miles (I have to start small... currently I'd die after one)

Ride in a helicopter

Paint a room or a house

Tile something

Drive a ski-doo

Drive a sea-doo

Deep-sea fishing

Ice fishing

Go on a cruise (Miami, FL; Nassau, Bahamas; San Juan, Puerto Rico; St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands - 03/2008)

Visit: Egypt, Israel, South Korea, Italy, Greece, the Vatican, Switzerland, France, Scotland, China (08/2007-12/2007), Japan (08/2003-07/2004), Thailand, Laos, Vietnam

Go to all 50 states for more than a layover: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming, District of Columbia

graduate from high school (06/2006), college (informally, whenever I get done with Russian, formally, 8/24/2008), and seminary (expected May/June 2011)

get a PhD? (2015?)

Adopt a child

Write a book

Learn to ride a motorcycle

Ride a Ducati

Live on a kibbutz for a month or two

Be in a choir (...me=not a good singer)

Get married

Drive a Lamborghini (pray to God that it doesn't catch on fire, as they tend to, while I'm in it)

Have a pet blowfish

movies i want to watch

equilibrium

american psycho

the machinist

rescue dawn

velvet goldmine (again)

transsiberian

memento

insomnia

more to come... (i should get netflix.)


Oh, and I am watching Sahara and making fun of Matthew McConaughey with my friend over AIM and she linked me to this. :D It's so amazing because it seems like he isn't even trying and he just automatically can talk like that... I think the way he said "something" (after barbecue) was the best.

I saw The Dark Knight at midnight last night and it was amazing. I want to see it again.

I might go see it again. Morning movies are only $5. There really is nothing else that I want to see, besides maybe Wanted again. But if I don't want popcorn in the morning it's not worth going for me. Because I really want to eat popcorn at the movies.

workshop

For those interested, this is an expansion of a piece that I posted here earlier.

Get it here.

"oh, i thought it was midnight" realizations

All this summer I have been struggling with feeling like God hasn't been speaking to me. That false assumption was caused simply by my narrow perception and clouded views. I have been reading about my friends that are overseas doing missions work - sharing the Gospel, loving in ways they didn't know they could, seeing miracles, healing the sick. I was wondering why I couldn't participate in that kind of stuff. But, I have been seeing God work in his perfect way here and in my life.

My youngest sister is going to a Christian camp. That is beautiful, especially because my parents are nonbelievers (and thus think I am ruining my life). My sister often asks me questions about the very nature of God and it means so much that she will have the chance to spend a week with people that can teach her about and show her the love of Jesus.

I found out that my one of my best friends from high school has been radically saved and radically transformed by Jesus Christ. Wow. Just to talk with her and hear her heart for other people was so wonderful.

God has been showing me this summer that first I need to love God. God used books and blogs that I have been reading, and a paper written by a girl in one of my classes to show me this. She mentioned the two commandments that matter - love God, and love people. You might say "well, of course!" to me first needing to love God. Sometimes though I get caught up in things. I get caught up in wanting to go on missions and being an advocate for social justice and trying to help others with various things. I understand that all of those are great things and glorifying to God. But first, He wants me to just love Him. Love Him with my life and spend time with Him and live for Him. And I don't have to go do things that I am not to do that.

After doing a project on the persecution of Christians in North Korea, I feel so absolutely blessed to even be allowed to have a Bible. I can read my Bible and take it with me wherever I go and I can share the Word without fear or being tortured or murdered. I can go to church on Sundays or gather on other days to love and be with the body of Christ without fear of being sent to a labor camp. For that I am so grateful.

Also, God has just been showing me over and over again how I can trust Him and rest in knowing that His will and everything is perfect. He showed me that I can pray for my future husband, that he will be a man that first loves God and desires only to follow him and to love, live, and do everything for His glory.

Sometimes people will say to me, "oh, you must be so worried," or "that must be a tough choice" or different things along those lines (I'm not denying that there are tough choices or anything - just examples!). but it is strange - I feel at peace. I feel at peace (I used to not be; I especially was very upset at one point because I am not part of some groups of people at church, that I wasn't fitting into the pastor/missionary/worship leader mold, etc.) knowing that I am a part of the body of Christ. Maybe an eye instead of a hand, but the same body nonetheless.

I'm not sure any of this makes sense - it is nearly two hours past my bedtime. :o

what a day!

I woke up this morning at 7, my usual time. Then I took a shower, my usual thing. in the shower I nearly fell over because I felt so faint and strange! I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't, so I just stayed home and relaxed. Then I went to my English class. I loved that class! Today we had pizza and did two informal workshops; it was a great time.

I bought my The Dark Knight advance ticket tonight. I was talking to the guy who was selling the tickets and he said he saw half of it (before the IMAX broke...) and that it was "the best movie [he has] seen all summer!" Now I'm excited.

Then I got my parmesan salad with no broccoli from Zuppa (I always get it - I'm a one-sided salad eater) and then I went to Walgreens. This week Walgreens has a store promotion for Loreal Vive shampoo/condition that is buy one get one free (BOGO/B1G1). There was a manufacturer's coupon in last Sunday's paper for the same product, also BOGO. So, I paid $.34 for this:



Isn't that fabulous?! :D

For more information on getting stuff from Walgreens/CVS see here.

I have to do homework now. Bye.

joel osteen scares me

The other night, before I quit TV, I wasn't able to fall asleep until about 3:30 AM. I was flipping channels, and Joel Osteen was on. I decided to watch for a few minutes. I didn't realize that he would be so far off - indeed, preaching lies! - and so creepy. I had watched him before but he must not have said anything that made me feel such disgust. Besides his weird eye fluttering (??), he isn't preaching the Gospel. The Lakewood Church has over 40,000 people that go every week. That's incredible. But it was so sad for me to hear Joel Osteen talking about God's power as something so small and limited to issues some people are concerned about. He talked about how it was a great victory that the church obtained the arena that they now meet in after lawsuits and such. He told people that they can have "complete victory" and that includes finances.

Additionally, he doesn't quote much scripture - he sees himself as a "life coach". He wants to tell people how they should live their life. Yikes! Why will people just choose to follow what he says instead of reading their Bible and praying and being changed by God? It's hard to choose to follow something if people don't know why or who is commanding something.

Psalm 119:33-37

33 Teach me your decrees, O Lord;
I will keep them to the end.
34 Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions;
I will put them into practice with all my heart.
35 Make me walk along the path of your commands,
for that is where my happiness is found.
36 Give me an eagerness for your laws
rather than a love for money!
37 Turn my eyes from worthless things,
and give me life through your word.

He thinks people can be "totally free" - free from pain, discouragement, poverty, low self-esteem... Uhm... I believe that Jesus was in pain, was discouraged, was poor, etc.

But Joel Osteen apparently doesn't think that just having a relationship with Jesus Christ is satisfying enough. How wrong is that!

Video (don't worry about their comments really)

People need a relationship with Jesus. Not Joel.