I was supposed to meet a guy that I met at the movie theater the other day, but when it came down to it I told him I didn't want to go to his apartment/be alone and then he stopped talking to me. Yeah...
Sometimes I don't know if 1) I am crazy or 2) if everybody hates me. I think that this is an issue that I have and I really need to stop thinking that everybody is passive-aggressively trying to ignore me/piss me off. I try to understand that I am loved by God and that I am worthy because I am loved by Him (not loved by Him because I am worthy). But that has been really hard for me for the last few months.
When I was in Columbus, I felt so shunned... It seemed like if I asked people to do things with me (alone, as a group, whatever) people didn't want to or were always busy and then would never get back to me when they weren't busy. It wasn't for the last two or three weeks there that I actually felt cared about by anyone that that is why it is so bittersweet for me to have moved here. But most of the people that I love in Columbus are moving anyway.
Moving to a new school in the US is totally different than moving to China for a study abroad. When I went to China, I went with a bunch of other study-abroaders and lived with them, so we made friends within that group. Everyone understandably wanted to have friends and people to be close to, so people looked in that group. But here, it is so different. A lot of people have already been at the school and have friends that they hang around with or are already established in this area and stay within their group. I was so excited when last week my roommate asked me to go hang out with her friends... that was really nice, because I actually got to talk to people. I've hung out with some of my neighbors and stuff but it just seems like they don't want to hang out with me... I guess. I don't want to or need to dominate anyone's time, but I dunno... study sessions at a bookstore? I feel like since we are all in seminary that could be a group activity. Maybe not. And it sucks because I guess I'm not that social.
Anyhow it is super lonely here. Sometimes I get to talk to people but I never get to talk about how I feel or what is going on in my heart or prayer requests or anything and it is really hard... and I have been constantly in prayer but I really want some friends, too. I just feel weird sometimes, like I'm not good enough, not into the right music, not into the right sports, whatever, to be included.
But I am so grateful for the people that God has put in my life lately, like my nice neighbors that take me to church with them, invite me to hang out, and let me do laundry at their place; and for everything else those people already mean to me, I'm sure they don't know how much. And in those people I have seen people come from such different circumstances than me. I'm so used to people from Ohio and people from suburban areas. I am so excited to see how God is working in their lives and I just want to know more about them, but I don't want to seem like a leech. And I don't want to be like “dude, maybe I can go read with you guys next time” or anything because I feel like I'm not wanted.
And people in Columbus, I really love you, like Sarah, Emily, Christina, PJ, and Josh... when I was in Columbus and even more so now I feel so blessed to know people like you that love like you do, it really feels like the love of Jesus. Really.
I am bad at loving. I want to love people totally self-sacrificially but I get so confused as to what that looks like... Maybe I am over-thinking it.
I'm going to stop being emo now and go back to reading the Shack (153 pages in so far).
Sunday, August 31, 2008
some thoughts on "blue like jazz"
seriously, just some.
As a whole I enjoyed this book. There are so many things that Donald Miller points out that helped me to see and understand things in a new or different way. I gravitated between being disgusted with the book and crying over parts that show God's transforming love and power.
My main problem with the book is how Miller seems to believe that “Christian spirituality” is the same as being a Christian. He says he “think[s] loving Jesus is something you feel,” and I don't disagree, and it is “very difficult to get on paper,” more likely impossible, but to Miller, it is all inward. It is about the inward emotions that he has and what happens to him. Chapter 18 bothered me. Miller talked about love and how the non-Christian hippies that he lived with in the woods were better at loving people and he wanted to love more like them. I would hope that he would want to love more like Jesus, instead of always finding worldly things that he wants to be like. It is so sad to me that Miller did not feel loved in his community, but the only way to really know love is to know Jesus. Miller tries to partner righteousness with wickedness and find harmony between Christ and the devil (2 Cor. 6:14-15). Throughout the book I was wondering, why is Don a Christian? I could tell that he loves Jesus, but I feel like Don doesn't think other people should love Jesus; I felt that Miller probably thinks that this is his way and it's cool but it's not the only way.
Page 114: “He saw evangelism as reaching a felt need. I thought this was beautiful and frightening.” I am disturbed that Donald Miller gets caught up in what people do wrong. Yes, some people evangelize just to get a notch on their belt or feel like they are doing something good. But that is not what evangelism is, evangelism is presenting the gospel and letting God do the rest (that's the definition of evangelism that I like right now; I'll write about some more in a different post). Although servant evangelism is so important and helpful, it is definitely not the only way that people should evangelize. We have been reconciled to God. We have hope in Jesus Christ, we are alive in Him. That is awesome and beautiful and amazing and if you think about the beauty of the gospel everyday, I pray that the overflow of love and joy and peace that you experience flows to other people, people who are lost and are going to be condemned to eternal separation from God. I don't want that for other people. I want them to have the same free gift that I received from God and that is the gift of mercy, grace, salvation, love...
Another part that talks about evangelism is on page 119 when Miller's professor asked him if he was a “Christian evangelist”. I'm sorry Miller didn't say yes – how many of you were saved by someone that would be considered a “professional evangelist,” like someone that preaches on the Oval or a street corner? A former boyfriend shared the gospel with me. I have shared the gospel with friends and seen them come to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. What about you? We all need to be evangelists. The Lord God commands us to: “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth .There fore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 28:18-19). Anyhow, surrendering my life to Jesus is the coolest, most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. So I want to talk about Him!
Page 115: This is my least favorite part of the book – when Miller refuses to defend the term “Christianity” on a radio show and say that he would rather “talk about Jesus and how [he] came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes [him]”. I know and I understand that many people associate terrible, ungodly things with the term “Christianity” or “Christian”. But to be a Christian means to be a Christ-follower. I hope that as Christ-followers we can try to change what people see a Christian as. I know people that have parents that confess to be Christians, but when they see the change in their children those same parents that said they were Christian say, “oh, I see that I'm not Christian. I didn't realize it was like that”. I apologize that Christians do terrible things and that people that claim to be Christians do terrible things. But I will not apologize for being a Christian.
Miller also talks about when he set up a confession booth on his college campus. One student said to him, “I forgive you”. What I see in this is Miller letting these people become his “functional savior” - Miller needs to feel okay about himself so he seeks someone created by our Creator God to tell him it's okay and to forgive him. But Miller can't have forgiveness from his friend, forgiveness is a gift from God.
I also liked some things about the book. I liked the like “some people believe that if they have a cross around their neck or tattooed on them or something, it has some sort of mystical power” (pg. 125). This is funny because I have a cross tattoo. But I don't believe it has any mystical power. :)
I also liked how honest he was. I feel like I can call him Don. But, I wish Don would stop being disillusioned and do something about it.
As a whole I enjoyed this book. There are so many things that Donald Miller points out that helped me to see and understand things in a new or different way. I gravitated between being disgusted with the book and crying over parts that show God's transforming love and power.
My main problem with the book is how Miller seems to believe that “Christian spirituality” is the same as being a Christian. He says he “think[s] loving Jesus is something you feel,” and I don't disagree, and it is “very difficult to get on paper,” more likely impossible, but to Miller, it is all inward. It is about the inward emotions that he has and what happens to him. Chapter 18 bothered me. Miller talked about love and how the non-Christian hippies that he lived with in the woods were better at loving people and he wanted to love more like them. I would hope that he would want to love more like Jesus, instead of always finding worldly things that he wants to be like. It is so sad to me that Miller did not feel loved in his community, but the only way to really know love is to know Jesus. Miller tries to partner righteousness with wickedness and find harmony between Christ and the devil (2 Cor. 6:14-15). Throughout the book I was wondering, why is Don a Christian? I could tell that he loves Jesus, but I feel like Don doesn't think other people should love Jesus; I felt that Miller probably thinks that this is his way and it's cool but it's not the only way.
Page 114: “He saw evangelism as reaching a felt need. I thought this was beautiful and frightening.” I am disturbed that Donald Miller gets caught up in what people do wrong. Yes, some people evangelize just to get a notch on their belt or feel like they are doing something good. But that is not what evangelism is, evangelism is presenting the gospel and letting God do the rest (that's the definition of evangelism that I like right now; I'll write about some more in a different post). Although servant evangelism is so important and helpful, it is definitely not the only way that people should evangelize. We have been reconciled to God. We have hope in Jesus Christ, we are alive in Him. That is awesome and beautiful and amazing and if you think about the beauty of the gospel everyday, I pray that the overflow of love and joy and peace that you experience flows to other people, people who are lost and are going to be condemned to eternal separation from God. I don't want that for other people. I want them to have the same free gift that I received from God and that is the gift of mercy, grace, salvation, love...
Another part that talks about evangelism is on page 119 when Miller's professor asked him if he was a “Christian evangelist”. I'm sorry Miller didn't say yes – how many of you were saved by someone that would be considered a “professional evangelist,” like someone that preaches on the Oval or a street corner? A former boyfriend shared the gospel with me. I have shared the gospel with friends and seen them come to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. What about you? We all need to be evangelists. The Lord God commands us to: “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth .There fore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 28:18-19). Anyhow, surrendering my life to Jesus is the coolest, most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. So I want to talk about Him!
Page 115: This is my least favorite part of the book – when Miller refuses to defend the term “Christianity” on a radio show and say that he would rather “talk about Jesus and how [he] came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes [him]”. I know and I understand that many people associate terrible, ungodly things with the term “Christianity” or “Christian”. But to be a Christian means to be a Christ-follower. I hope that as Christ-followers we can try to change what people see a Christian as. I know people that have parents that confess to be Christians, but when they see the change in their children those same parents that said they were Christian say, “oh, I see that I'm not Christian. I didn't realize it was like that”. I apologize that Christians do terrible things and that people that claim to be Christians do terrible things. But I will not apologize for being a Christian.
Miller also talks about when he set up a confession booth on his college campus. One student said to him, “I forgive you”. What I see in this is Miller letting these people become his “functional savior” - Miller needs to feel okay about himself so he seeks someone created by our Creator God to tell him it's okay and to forgive him. But Miller can't have forgiveness from his friend, forgiveness is a gift from God.
I also liked some things about the book. I liked the like “some people believe that if they have a cross around their neck or tattooed on them or something, it has some sort of mystical power” (pg. 125). This is funny because I have a cross tattoo. But I don't believe it has any mystical power. :)
I also liked how honest he was. I feel like I can call him Don. But, I wish Don would stop being disillusioned and do something about it.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
leftover meals and lameness (not related)
1) Seminary cookout was lame. It's a bunch of kids things (like one of those blow up rooms you bounce around in, a blow-up slide, and a kids rock climbing wall) with a bunch of families, and no one I knew... so I left.
2) For lunch I mixed leftover black bean salad (with corn and salsa and lime) with a rice/pasta cheesy thing that I threw chickpeas into. I got 10 servings of black bean salad from using one can each of corn and black beans, so I had to find things to do with it! And the rice thing was one of those prepackaged things, which are too salty and gross by themselves.
For dinner I had leftover mac and cheese with black bean salad made into a burrito. haha... it was tasty. i miss pj's. but not the price there!
i'm supposed to get a couch tonight but the lady hasn't emailed me back with her address. suck. double suck because a friend's roommate is going to go with me with his truck to get it and i don't want to inconvenience him. but i made him brownies. :P
2) For lunch I mixed leftover black bean salad (with corn and salsa and lime) with a rice/pasta cheesy thing that I threw chickpeas into. I got 10 servings of black bean salad from using one can each of corn and black beans, so I had to find things to do with it! And the rice thing was one of those prepackaged things, which are too salty and gross by themselves.
For dinner I had leftover mac and cheese with black bean salad made into a burrito. haha... it was tasty. i miss pj's. but not the price there!
i'm supposed to get a couch tonight but the lady hasn't emailed me back with her address. suck. double suck because a friend's roommate is going to go with me with his truck to get it and i don't want to inconvenience him. but i made him brownies. :P
i'm baking brownies
But not for me. :)
- from "Let's be honest" by This Beautiful Republic, a group I really dig lately
Today I opened my beloved macbook to find that it was being weird. When I restarted I got a flashing question mark... not good! I searched around online (on my desktop... yay, the internet is working on it today!) for some fixes, and finally tried to repair the disc from a boot disc or whatever... but it won't work. Apparently the closest Apple store is 30 minutes away, so I will have to call them first and see if they will be able to do something about it before I go there. If this laptop is dead... I guess I will buy another, because it is so much easier to take notes on a laptop than write them. But I don't know if I will buy an apple. :'(
Then I went to wal-mart and goodwill... the candle sticks I have wanted since I've been here were still there and now I am the proud owner of them! But when I went to the dollar store after that to get a Sunday paper (they were sold out already, again... I should go earlier I reckon), I found that I didn't have my wallet... so I drove back to goodwill, and right when I got there, a woman and her family saw it and picked it up and I was so relieved that it was there. It's amazing cause it was right in the middle of a few empty spots, and when I left goodwill the first time there were four different cars with people in them and they could have taken my wallet. None of my money was taken either! Which is excellent because it had all my tips from waitressing this week in it =O
I might get a couch tonight. Now I should do reading. I have a lot.
I hate when people call me a "young 'un" and I'm barely 4 years younger than them. I feel so belittled and disrespected. I don't know if I should say something to the person, or if this is my problem and I shouldn't have a problem with it, or if I should just take it. After this happens I go home and read Psalms for hours because I get depressed.
I'm lonely and want friends and someone to hug :(
AND!
Yesterday, I met someone that eats raw ground beef, and I officially graduated from OSU! (Whenever I mention OSU people either 1) have to be told the whole name, 2) are shocked I went to a pagan institution, or 3) remark how big it is. No OSU football fans here, I guess. (Everybody likes Duke or NC State basketball. Lame.)
I lift my hands, I'm so desperate to feel Him
So let's be honest, without Him life just passes by
Slow down, we're slowly dying
But we can live again
Be lifted up in Him
- from "Let's be honest" by This Beautiful Republic, a group I really dig lately
Today I opened my beloved macbook to find that it was being weird. When I restarted I got a flashing question mark... not good! I searched around online (on my desktop... yay, the internet is working on it today!) for some fixes, and finally tried to repair the disc from a boot disc or whatever... but it won't work. Apparently the closest Apple store is 30 minutes away, so I will have to call them first and see if they will be able to do something about it before I go there. If this laptop is dead... I guess I will buy another, because it is so much easier to take notes on a laptop than write them. But I don't know if I will buy an apple. :'(
Then I went to wal-mart and goodwill... the candle sticks I have wanted since I've been here were still there and now I am the proud owner of them! But when I went to the dollar store after that to get a Sunday paper (they were sold out already, again... I should go earlier I reckon), I found that I didn't have my wallet... so I drove back to goodwill, and right when I got there, a woman and her family saw it and picked it up and I was so relieved that it was there. It's amazing cause it was right in the middle of a few empty spots, and when I left goodwill the first time there were four different cars with people in them and they could have taken my wallet. None of my money was taken either! Which is excellent because it had all my tips from waitressing this week in it =O
I might get a couch tonight. Now I should do reading. I have a lot.
I hate when people call me a "young 'un" and I'm barely 4 years younger than them. I feel so belittled and disrespected. I don't know if I should say something to the person, or if this is my problem and I shouldn't have a problem with it, or if I should just take it. After this happens I go home and read Psalms for hours because I get depressed.
I'm lonely and want friends and someone to hug :(
AND!
Yesterday, I met someone that eats raw ground beef, and I officially graduated from OSU! (Whenever I mention OSU people either 1) have to be told the whole name, 2) are shocked I went to a pagan institution, or 3) remark how big it is. No OSU football fans here, I guess. (Everybody likes Duke or NC State basketball. Lame.)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
some quotes from "apology"
Currently I am working through Tertullian's "Apology".
A quick bit about Tertullian:
-lived 155-222 AD
-apologist
-lived in Rome
-introduced the word "trinity" and the terms "new testament" and "old testament"
-apparently wrote in very difficult to understand Latin and I feel that the translator of my English version captured that perhaps too effectively.
This work is so far about the Romans' unfair treatment of Christians. In it he brings up the topic of abortion and this is best-worded description of abortion I've read:
"In our case, murder being once for all forbidden [in Roman law], we may not destroy even the foetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter whether you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to the birth. That is a man which is going to be one; you have the fruit already in its seed.
Then he goes on to talk about how the Romans are crazy for accusing the Christians of cannibalism when "the entrails of the very bears [that ate the gladiators and/or criminals], loaded with as yet undigested human viscera, are in great request".
Ew.
A quick bit about Tertullian:
-lived 155-222 AD
-apologist
-lived in Rome
-introduced the word "trinity" and the terms "new testament" and "old testament"
-apparently wrote in very difficult to understand Latin and I feel that the translator of my English version captured that perhaps too effectively.
This work is so far about the Romans' unfair treatment of Christians. In it he brings up the topic of abortion and this is best-worded description of abortion I've read:
"In our case, murder being once for all forbidden [in Roman law], we may not destroy even the foetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter whether you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to the birth. That is a man which is going to be one; you have the fruit already in its seed.
Then he goes on to talk about how the Romans are crazy for accusing the Christians of cannibalism when "the entrails of the very bears [that ate the gladiators and/or criminals], loaded with as yet undigested human viscera, are in great request".
Ew.
dear boss,
Dear my Boss,
Yelling is not an acceptable form of communication. It does not spur me on to do anything, beside make me pray to the Lord for patience and a loving heart that will not want to burn your restaurant down. Just because I am one of the young girl employees (we range from high schoolers to seminary students in this category) does not mean that I am a child that will perhaps magically understand you better when you say something louder and with more anger in your voice. I work diligently for you and treat you with respect, and I would like some of the same. Or I will quit.
Just like you don't yell at the middle-aged guy that makes our pizza, you should not yell at me. Or your son. It doesn't really say "I love you, but you need to do your work". It says something more along the lines of, "I'm being ridiculous and embarrassing myself because I don't know how to discipline my child and even more than that, I am totally unreasonable in what I expect".
In love,
Kirsi
Yelling is not an acceptable form of communication. It does not spur me on to do anything, beside make me pray to the Lord for patience and a loving heart that will not want to burn your restaurant down. Just because I am one of the young girl employees (we range from high schoolers to seminary students in this category) does not mean that I am a child that will perhaps magically understand you better when you say something louder and with more anger in your voice. I work diligently for you and treat you with respect, and I would like some of the same. Or I will quit.
Just like you don't yell at the middle-aged guy that makes our pizza, you should not yell at me. Or your son. It doesn't really say "I love you, but you need to do your work". It says something more along the lines of, "I'm being ridiculous and embarrassing myself because I don't know how to discipline my child and even more than that, I am totally unreasonable in what I expect".
In love,
Kirsi
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
gah
The school is a parking-nazi. There are two problems with this:
1) There is not nearly enough parking.
2) "Proper" parking spots are not clearly defined.
I also feel there should be a grace rule for first time mess-ups.
also they reminded me of this (that i am going to hell for parking wrong):
The authories [sic] that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 12:1b-2
1) There is not nearly enough parking.
2) "Proper" parking spots are not clearly defined.
I also feel there should be a grace rule for first time mess-ups.
also they reminded me of this (that i am going to hell for parking wrong):
The authories [sic] that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 12:1b-2
Monday, August 18, 2008
observations
1) The closest Chipotle is 9 miles away.
2) Nobody here likes Chipotle anyway.
3) Nobody knows what Tim Hortons is. Seems like the Canadian chain has yet to infiltrate the South...
4) A lot of people here have accents.
5) There is a Chinese/Mexican restaurant! I want to go there (with Liz).
6) I like Sonic and Chick-fil-A.
7) All the preachers here seem to YELL every word.
8) Yelling scares me.
9) I believe Yelling (a sermon) is acceptable at points. It does not convey your passion/excitement/the seriousness of something, etc. if it is done ALL THE TIME. (See? The same rule applies to typing. DOESN'T IT DRIVE YOU NUTS WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS? It's the same with preaching.
10) I wear t-shirts often.
11) I hate that Ikea doesn't have online order tracking. I could call, but last time I did that I was on hold for over 20 minutes.
12) I hate that I don't have my own printer because I was going to rob Wal-Mart of all their cereal (and some other things) today with coupons, but in the school computer lab I needed administrator access to install the coupon printing program so... I only got two coupons instead of 11. :( But I did pay only $1 for two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats Just Bunches. On the sites I read it said that it was 2/$4 but it was 2/$5 at my Wal-Mart. Oh well. Maybe on Craigslist I will be able to find a free printer. And then get free cereal. :D
2) Nobody here likes Chipotle anyway.
3) Nobody knows what Tim Hortons is. Seems like the Canadian chain has yet to infiltrate the South...
4) A lot of people here have accents.
5) There is a Chinese/Mexican restaurant! I want to go there (with Liz).
6) I like Sonic and Chick-fil-A.
7) All the preachers here seem to YELL every word.
8) Yelling scares me.
9) I believe Yelling (a sermon) is acceptable at points. It does not convey your passion/excitement/the seriousness of something, etc. if it is done ALL THE TIME. (See? The same rule applies to typing. DOESN'T IT DRIVE YOU NUTS WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS? It's the same with preaching.
10) I wear t-shirts often.
11) I hate that Ikea doesn't have online order tracking. I could call, but last time I did that I was on hold for over 20 minutes.
12) I hate that I don't have my own printer because I was going to rob Wal-Mart of all their cereal (and some other things) today with coupons, but in the school computer lab I needed administrator access to install the coupon printing program so... I only got two coupons instead of 11. :( But I did pay only $1 for two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats Just Bunches. On the sites I read it said that it was 2/$4 but it was 2/$5 at my Wal-Mart. Oh well. Maybe on Craigslist I will be able to find a free printer. And then get free cereal. :D
Thursday, August 14, 2008
first day as a seminary student!
1) My evangelism prof seems fantastic... today he shared with us how he got to where he is now, as a professor at Southeastern. His story was a beautiful story of redemption and the love of Jesus Christ, his heart for the lost, and his love for his wife. It was really amazing; seriously, I teared up in class.
2) My OT prof was wearing slacks, a nice shirt and tie, and Crocs. It made me smile. We started class with a hymn that nobody knew.
*One time I wore Crocs. They were so amazingly comfortable! I don't know why everyone thinks they are so ugly. If I see some on sale somewhere I will probably buy them. :P
3) Christina (part of the worship team at newLife-osu) was right. There are people at seminary that are there to get ahead, that are nasty/mean/unloving, self-centered, etc. It makes me sad.
*Not that I am not a terrible person, undeserving of everything, saved only by the radical grace of Jesus Christ.
I ordered some furniture for my bedroom from Ikea today. I am viewing it as an investment - hopefully I will get many good years of use from it. This weekend I'm hitting up some garage sales to get things like silverware, dishes, a dining room table and chairs, and maybe a sofa. I'll have to find someone with a truck and convince them to go with me...
Another thought: mayonnaise tastes weird. Before when I made chickpea salad (tastes like egg salad), I used Miracle Whip. I didn't realize that it made it slightly sweet. At least, I think that's what it was. In any case, I added some powdered sugar to the chickpea salad to make it less salty/biting (I can't find the words to describe the taste).
Now I'm going to read more of Blue Like Jazz; I'm loving it so far. Next is "Questioning Evangelism" by Randy Newman. I've wanted to read this book for a while, but now I get to read it for my evangelism class! Sometimes I just don't know how to talk to people about Jesus and I think that reading about it will really help me.
2) My OT prof was wearing slacks, a nice shirt and tie, and Crocs. It made me smile. We started class with a hymn that nobody knew.
*One time I wore Crocs. They were so amazingly comfortable! I don't know why everyone thinks they are so ugly. If I see some on sale somewhere I will probably buy them. :P
3) Christina (part of the worship team at newLife-osu) was right. There are people at seminary that are there to get ahead, that are nasty/mean/unloving, self-centered, etc. It makes me sad.
*Not that I am not a terrible person, undeserving of everything, saved only by the radical grace of Jesus Christ.
I ordered some furniture for my bedroom from Ikea today. I am viewing it as an investment - hopefully I will get many good years of use from it. This weekend I'm hitting up some garage sales to get things like silverware, dishes, a dining room table and chairs, and maybe a sofa. I'll have to find someone with a truck and convince them to go with me...
Another thought: mayonnaise tastes weird. Before when I made chickpea salad (tastes like egg salad), I used Miracle Whip. I didn't realize that it made it slightly sweet. At least, I think that's what it was. In any case, I added some powdered sugar to the chickpea salad to make it less salty/biting (I can't find the words to describe the taste).
Now I'm going to read more of Blue Like Jazz; I'm loving it so far. Next is "Questioning Evangelism" by Randy Newman. I've wanted to read this book for a while, but now I get to read it for my evangelism class! Sometimes I just don't know how to talk to people about Jesus and I think that reading about it will really help me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
it's real now!
My eye hurts... I scheduled for classes (nature and practice of evangelism, church history I, old testament I) and bought my books ($60 for 4 books! sweet... and I wanted to read half of the books I bought in any case!). I also bought the Shack... I understand that it is heretical but apparently it's a great read! :D
Work tonight... not really looking forward to it. I'd rather squish around on my air mattress; I love it.
music: "all my love" - charlie hall. love this song...
(edit: oh well, i had to buy some more books and the total for my three classes was about $100)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
ahahahaha
I definitely got a new air mattress today and it's so fabulous; I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight. My hip bones have been hurtin' real bad cause I sleep on my side and they've just been getting ground into the floor! Yessss.
I'll update about my church culture shock later. Sims now.
I'll update about my church culture shock later. Sims now.
Friday, August 8, 2008
updates
I moved to North Carolina on Monday. Sarah, being awesome like she is, came with me so that the 12 hour drive (we stopped a few times and got lost for 1.5 hours) was pretty bearable! It was an interesting drive, mostly through small highways in the mountains. I only almost ran off the road once, which is surprising, because I kept getting distracted and looking at the pretty mountains and trees.
Tuesday I applied for two jobs, both at Italian/pizza restaurants. The seminary has an employment office and gave me a listing of places to apply at. I was going to apply to be a nanny with a few places and at a catering place, but yesterday, after I got lost and drove in a 5 mile circle (twice) looking for Wal-Mart, I got a call. The owner wanted to know if I could meet him for an interview in less than 20 minutes! Haha... Thankfully, I was close to the restaurant, and met him. It's a family restaurant in "downtown" Wake Forest. He must have thought that I could do the job because I started yesterday at 4!
I did go to Wal-Mart, to buy an air mattress. It's not really in my budget, but sleeping on the floor sucks. Anyhow, I bought a Wal-Mart brand mattress, and a Coleman pump, since they didn't have a twin sized Coleman mattress or a Wal-Mart brand pump. But the two don't work together! Serious suck. I don't really feel like driving around so maybe when I do I will get a different mattress. Oh well. At least when I actually buy a mattress, I will really appreciate it! I still don't know how I will get any furniture I buy here... Maybe somebody I work with or at church will have a truck! I could stand by their truck after church and wait for them to come to it and hit them up for some furniture transporting. Haha.
The restaurant seems pretty cool. I'm going to be a waitress. Yesterday I shadowed a waitress and watched the hostess and just tried to figure things out. I work again today and I'm pretty sure tomorrow... I hope that I will be able to remember the table numbers and who ordered what and stuff. @_@ The people there seem really great, too. Most of the waitresses and hostesses seem to be high school girls... They didn't believe that I wasn't their age. :( And another waitress that is a nice older woman thought I was a college freshman. Back to looking 15 I guess... >_<
Funny story: all the dishwashers are young guys. Apparently most of them (three) got fired last week, because instead of actually cleaning a bunch of dishes, they just threw them away. Yikes!
The pizza chef is a cool guy that is starting at seminary just like me! He was a pastor for a few years and before that he and his wife were missionaries in Mexico. He is really nice and fun to talk to and he recommended the church he attends to me. I was already planning on going to that church this week, but it's nice to already know someone that will be there! He says it is great and stuff so yay.
After work tonight I'm going to start reading "Blue Like Jazz"! Yay. I heard it's really sweet.
Tuesday I applied for two jobs, both at Italian/pizza restaurants. The seminary has an employment office and gave me a listing of places to apply at. I was going to apply to be a nanny with a few places and at a catering place, but yesterday, after I got lost and drove in a 5 mile circle (twice) looking for Wal-Mart, I got a call. The owner wanted to know if I could meet him for an interview in less than 20 minutes! Haha... Thankfully, I was close to the restaurant, and met him. It's a family restaurant in "downtown" Wake Forest. He must have thought that I could do the job because I started yesterday at 4!
I did go to Wal-Mart, to buy an air mattress. It's not really in my budget, but sleeping on the floor sucks. Anyhow, I bought a Wal-Mart brand mattress, and a Coleman pump, since they didn't have a twin sized Coleman mattress or a Wal-Mart brand pump. But the two don't work together! Serious suck. I don't really feel like driving around so maybe when I do I will get a different mattress. Oh well. At least when I actually buy a mattress, I will really appreciate it! I still don't know how I will get any furniture I buy here... Maybe somebody I work with or at church will have a truck! I could stand by their truck after church and wait for them to come to it and hit them up for some furniture transporting. Haha.
The restaurant seems pretty cool. I'm going to be a waitress. Yesterday I shadowed a waitress and watched the hostess and just tried to figure things out. I work again today and I'm pretty sure tomorrow... I hope that I will be able to remember the table numbers and who ordered what and stuff. @_@ The people there seem really great, too. Most of the waitresses and hostesses seem to be high school girls... They didn't believe that I wasn't their age. :( And another waitress that is a nice older woman thought I was a college freshman. Back to looking 15 I guess... >_<
Funny story: all the dishwashers are young guys. Apparently most of them (three) got fired last week, because instead of actually cleaning a bunch of dishes, they just threw them away. Yikes!
The pizza chef is a cool guy that is starting at seminary just like me! He was a pastor for a few years and before that he and his wife were missionaries in Mexico. He is really nice and fun to talk to and he recommended the church he attends to me. I was already planning on going to that church this week, but it's nice to already know someone that will be there! He says it is great and stuff so yay.
After work tonight I'm going to start reading "Blue Like Jazz"! Yay. I heard it's really sweet.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
ugh i hate living at home
I'm living at home for four days before I move to NC. It's terrible. If I hadn't moved out back in March I think I would have gone insane by now.
1) They are disgustingly dirty, not helpful, and not the brightest.
Nobody in this house (5 people plus me) helps do dishes. Yesterday I found the drying sink full of various pots and pans that were very obviously dirty, with food and messes all over them. So I redid all the dishes, and cleaned out the sink and wiped all the counters. Like three times yesterday, and so far twice today. People leave their drink cups everywhere for days (dried up lemon slices...) and refuse to run and then unload the dishwasher. I don't think that I am a particularly stringent neat-freak, but I don't see how people can just sit around watching TV while dirty dishes stew when they are supposed to be clean and counters have crumbs and various little drops of spills all over them. GAHHHH. Oh, and then people try to vacuum ceramic tile floors by taking apart the vacuum cleaner and using just the metal pipe. Are you freaking kidding me?! Get the little attachment head... that's what it is for!! But no. Instead of using things that we are lucky enough to have, like a nice vacuum cleaner, said person decides to try to destroy the ceramic tile while not doing that good of a job of cleaning AND making an awful, high-pitched, "this is ruining me" sound of metal on tile.
2) I am apparently the personal chef of the house.
I'm lucky because I seem to be getting away with drinking water in my bedroom (WOW! @_@). But, when I wandered downstairs about twenty minutes ago to look into making lunch (I decided against it because we have no whole grains, no decent vegetables, etc.), someone asked "are you cooking something, Kirsi?" I replied with a maybe. Then they said "well then you need to consider the rest of the family and cook for them". What... why? It's 1:30 in the afternoon and not the best time to be eating lunch. Also, if I make a sandwich, why should I make a bunch for others? I understand that I could, and I would, but this person didn't make it clear if they just wanted me to be their unhired help and make them a sandwich, or what. My can't they just ask, "will you make me one?" Why sure, I would! Instead, they said, well your dad might be hungry when he gets home in an hour. What...? Why would someone want to eat lunch at 3 PM, likely a soggy sandwich that doesn't have what you want on it because you weren't there when it was made? GAHHHH. Seriously. If people want something from me, can't they just ask instead of being passive-aggressive nasty? Seriously...
Maybe I'll runaway to a coffee shop. And drink hot chocolate.
1) They are disgustingly dirty, not helpful, and not the brightest.
Nobody in this house (5 people plus me) helps do dishes. Yesterday I found the drying sink full of various pots and pans that were very obviously dirty, with food and messes all over them. So I redid all the dishes, and cleaned out the sink and wiped all the counters. Like three times yesterday, and so far twice today. People leave their drink cups everywhere for days (dried up lemon slices...) and refuse to run and then unload the dishwasher. I don't think that I am a particularly stringent neat-freak, but I don't see how people can just sit around watching TV while dirty dishes stew when they are supposed to be clean and counters have crumbs and various little drops of spills all over them. GAHHHH. Oh, and then people try to vacuum ceramic tile floors by taking apart the vacuum cleaner and using just the metal pipe. Are you freaking kidding me?! Get the little attachment head... that's what it is for!! But no. Instead of using things that we are lucky enough to have, like a nice vacuum cleaner, said person decides to try to destroy the ceramic tile while not doing that good of a job of cleaning AND making an awful, high-pitched, "this is ruining me" sound of metal on tile.
2) I am apparently the personal chef of the house.
I'm lucky because I seem to be getting away with drinking water in my bedroom (WOW! @_@). But, when I wandered downstairs about twenty minutes ago to look into making lunch (I decided against it because we have no whole grains, no decent vegetables, etc.), someone asked "are you cooking something, Kirsi?" I replied with a maybe. Then they said "well then you need to consider the rest of the family and cook for them". What... why? It's 1:30 in the afternoon and not the best time to be eating lunch. Also, if I make a sandwich, why should I make a bunch for others? I understand that I could, and I would, but this person didn't make it clear if they just wanted me to be their unhired help and make them a sandwich, or what. My can't they just ask, "will you make me one?" Why sure, I would! Instead, they said, well your dad might be hungry when he gets home in an hour. What...? Why would someone want to eat lunch at 3 PM, likely a soggy sandwich that doesn't have what you want on it because you weren't there when it was made? GAHHHH. Seriously. If people want something from me, can't they just ask instead of being passive-aggressive nasty? Seriously...
Maybe I'll runaway to a coffee shop. And drink hot chocolate.
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