Lately I have been feeling unhealthy and... gross. Really. I've wanted to lose weight before, and have been moderately successful, but always fall off track.
The initial problems are with my eating habits. I eat very unhealthy. I eat because I am bored, anxious, and in front of the TV (bad...). If I'm distracted all day playing the Sims 2 or doing stuff, I won't eat as much. But otherwise, I just get bored and eat. This is bad. I have also noticed that since I got my job (January) and moved into this apartment (March 23rd) I've been eating a lot of junk food. I used to never eat chips, cookies, candy, etc. At work, I could have whatever I wanted, so, I took what was tasty instead of what was healthy (sometimes). The real problem is with this apartment. We ALWAYS have baked goods. Between the cookie addictions of my three roommates, the cake making, the random goodies brought from wherever, and the infamous junk drawer (a whole kitchen drawer FULL of crap from one of my roommates' mom), I have easy access to this junk. At my parents house we barely had real food, nonetheless junk food...
So I have been trying to consciously make an effort to 1) not eat because I feel like it (it may seem obvious but it's hard to not do. I was listening to that Mark Driscoll sermon that I posted about earlier and realized that I may have a worship problem [not "food addiction" - that I choose eating to please myself rather than eating and enjoying the food that the Lord has blessed us with in a healthy way that will honor our bodies, where the Holy Spirit dwells), and 2) eat less and healthier.
Moving out of this apartment into a new one, that doesn't already have a stockpile of crap, will be great. Totally getting rid of the temptations is the best way for me to overcome a lot of things. Hopefully I can keep my fridge, freezer, and cabinets full of tasty, more filling, and more healthy items. And not chocolate and rice krispy bars and cookies and what-have-you.
For me, this means eschewing meat. Slowly I would like to have a vegetarian diet. I think I will still eat dairy products and eggs (although I found there are many substitutes for eggs in recipes. Like apple sauce or bananas. I found this out because I usually never have eggs. Egg salad can be made really tastily with chickpeas. The only thing I can think of to do with actual eggs is make omelets, hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, and fried eggs.) I think that overall, doing a 180 on my eating habits will be great.
I'm also going to stop eating cold cereal. Mostly because it is not filling. I usually eat two serving sizes (one serving of cereal is so tiny...) and a little milk and then I'm hungry two hours later! I found a recipe for breakfast bars that I want to try, and I also like hot cereal, pancakes, muffins (for weekends), and shakes/fruit smoothies (for weekdays).
Today I made chickpea salad (like egg salad). I'm really excited to try it for lunch tomorrow. I was going to have it for dinner tonight but Sarah came over with two pizzas that she got. She got a job! At a pizza place. So they gave her some pizzas. She made one! She tried to make is seem like she did a terrible job but then she had a hard time telling the difference between hers and the managers... Finally we found hers because some of the pepperonis weren't flat. :P
Tomorrow, breakfast will be a banana peanut butter smoothie (I ran out of chocolate syrup...). Lunch with be chickpea salad on two pieces of wheat toast with lettuce. Snack will be... something... and dinner will be... something. I want to try making a chili. But I barely have any food here (besides bananas... I bought six pounds the other day for two dollars! freaking sweet, huh. I got two bags of the "old" bananas, which are really the ripe bananas. AKA the not greener than limes bananas. Yay.)
The secondary problems are between me and exercise. I never have liked exercising. In China, I started running with some of my friends. I looked around online at how far/fast to run and stuff, and of course, started very slowly... but I got shin splints. They hurt so bad that I could barely walk. I tried doing exercises everyday to strength my ankle muscles, the muscles on the front of the leg - all the exercises that were suggested for shin splints. And I rested. But it didn't help. Today I went out running at Tuttle Park, down by the river, and it seems like I still have the shin splints and they are back with a fiery vengeance and hurt so much. I'm going to see my doctor, I think, and ask about them.
I also hate exercising where people can see me because I suck at exercising, sweat a lot, etc. That is why I don't like gyms. I also don't want to exercise alone but haven't been successful with finding a work-out partner.
I think I should try bicycling. At Southeastern they have a gym. I'm not sure if they have a stationary bike, but I bet they do. Maybe I could use that one. At least I am trying to get in shape, right? I really think my fear of people seeing me exercise is ridiculous and totally unfounded...
I'm also planning on biking to school (why I got the apartment I did as opposed to the one that was much farther away).
So. I have 39 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight! (This goal weight that I need to lose 39 pounds to get to is not unreasonable, either. It's in the middle of the ideal weight range for women my height. I'm not trying to be skinny; I don't have skewed views as to what women need to weigh to be healthy or "normal" or attractive, even if the media tries so hard to indoctrinate me.)
It's so much. I don't know if I can bring myself to put on my blog what my weight as of tonight was. :(
At least my grades are good so far! And Russian is coming along. Kind of.
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